16 November 2007

missing my daddy...

30 days of thanks...
today i am especially mindful of my daddy. he left this world 6 years ago at sunset...freed from the suffering of his long illness. i miss him every single day. though i know he is nearby, i still long for a hug or a conversation. i still occasionally have a thought of "i must call daddy & tell him this" slip through...& then i realize. that is hard. after a moment, i turn my thoughts to the deep gratitude i have for his time with me...& i tell my children the stories that i hope will outlive us all about this great man who quietly painted a life-long picture of a devoted husband, loving father, doting grandfather, avid outdoorsman, & friend to all he met.


boxes stacked in ode to dust alone
i must approach.
how do i know what to keep
& what to toss,
what i will need one day
when sorrow demands a token
held in my hand to catch the
& soften the loss?
each layer unpacked
reaches a deeper memory
and soon i am swimming in
my childhood & stories i've been told,
waves of grief will eventually
wash me back onto the shore
of what is now.
but for a time i must remain
in this place of before
& consider...
i must hold each piece of my history
& decide
what was needed by you alone
& may now be let go,
what is needed by me & mine
on the journey we continue
without you;
dust has no more claim
on these memories that i hold.
Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.


Karina said...

Wow. Beautiful words, a wonderful tribute.

Bri said...

What wonderful poem. I know when my grandmother died this summer, we had to make our way through her things. This poem is a lovely way to remember and pay tribute.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful thoughts and words.

Sunflower said...

I love you momma. that poem is beautiful. :)

qualcosa di bello said...

thank you, all of you...no matter how much i tell myself that i will find all the beauty in november & not dwell in the sadness, it still presents itself to me. & in the sad moments your kind words mean a lot. he was a great man & i miss my daddy so much.