a state of being

in my stumbles around the blogosphere today i read..."you are what you do everyday."

what will i do today??

what am i?? what do i hope that i am? what am i called to be? am i living in that general direction?or am i wasting my perception on the reality of someone else? doing what another 'thinks' i should be doing? what mass media insists i 'should' be doing? ignoring the passion within my own soul?

once upon a time, the answer was a very sad "yes"...& then ever so slowly, i began to wake from this stupor. in quiet moments, i heard the soul-whisper of the Holy Spirit asking me deeper questions...i pondered those questions. i held them up to my life being lived.

things shifted.

i felt love & excitement well up inside my heart...little bits at first~~ then more & more...

i began to wake...to live~~~ with joy!!

the quote above, from my bloghopping, challenged me to ponder...i went back to what i wrote last summer in my profile: am i following God's will for my life? spending lots of time with my family? writing, traveling, cooking? immersing in italian?

my heart felt lighter after reading this. before i had written my profile, i thought about it for a few days. would my profile be goals i would hopefully attain? or would it really be me? from re-reading this i see more gifts to count...7. spending lots of time with D. & the children...each & every ordinary day...by phone or in person8. time to write & a beautiful, inspirational place to do it with a wonderful piece of machinery on which to do it...

9. travel dreams...planning that will, God-willing, bring us joy throughout this year & take us back to the place where i left some of my heart on the last trip ;)10. a kitchen that is more than enough, filled with bounty...a place that gives me joy, be it time to prepare something from scratch or simply re-heat a waiting treasure...

today it will be a re-heat of yesterday's scrumptious treasure. i found some lovely squash at the market just beckoning me to take them home. for a few days i could only allow them to languish on my counter, such was their beauty...

but soon, my conservative inner voice said: "you need to make them into a dish, lest they spoil." i miss their color on these winter days, but the soup they provided has been a fine compensation! what's cooking wednesday?...

roasted squash soup

to roast the squash...cut squash in half, drizzle the squash & a cookie sheet with olive oil, also drizzle squash with sea salt...roast cut side down for ~30-40 minutes at 375(skin will be shiny & you will be able to pierce squash with a knife when it is done)

after the squash is cooled, scoop out seeds & stringy center (save seeds to roast), then scoop the soft flesh for use in the soup

in olive oil over medium heat, saute 1/2 yellow onion & 3 garlic cloves til soft

add 2 c. roasted squash & 1/2 c. chicken stock...heat through

season with fresh ground pepper, sea salt & nutmeg...to taste

if you desire a softer soup, puree in food processor then reheat if needed

grate white cheddar or parmigiano-reggiano cheese into puree & serve