30 September 2007

a birthday story

once upon a time there was a little girl. she lived in a very happy & safe world with her momma & daddy, who loved her very much. this little girl loved to sit at her momma's feet while she hung the sheets on the laundry line...& then run through them trying to catch the breeze. she also loved to get down into the dirt & help her daddy when he was planting & weeding his many gardens of flowers & vegetables. she was an only child, but not a lonely child. her momma & daddy were always there, her neighborhood was full of friends, & she had a sweet little doggie who followed her everywhere.

all her life, as long as she could remember, this little girl had known that out there, in the very big, wide world, there was someone else...someone she did not know...someone who had done something very brave...& out of love. you see, this little girl had another momma.

her momma & daddy had told her in all their stories about this very special woman & how she had made a sacrifice so very big, for reasons that the three of them would not be allowed to know...her momma said it was the very hardest of sacrifices...

she had sent this little girl to live with them because sometimes life is so very hard...& because this other great lady had wanted the little girl to grow up in a safe & happy place. they told her to always remember her other momma in her prayers...to ask God everyday to bless her & ease the sorrow that she surely felt in making this very hard decision.

as the little girl grew she took to heart the words of her momma & daddy...she kept this brave lady in her heart & prayers...she also asked for blessings on her whole family, for surely that was the right thing to do. eventually this girl married, had children & even worked with mothers & babies. she thought very often about the sacrifice...which she know understood with more clarity...every. single. time. she looked at her own very dear babies...

what a tremendous sacrifice.

years passed...& sadly the girl's momma & daddy left this world. she was left with the bittersweet task of sorting through the belongings of these marvelous parents. it was a difficult task that took several years to accomplish. nearing the end of her sorting, she found a very special paper that her momma (the keeper of treasures) had never shown her...

it was her official adoption decree.

it contained her very first name.

she tucked this unusual find in a safe place, & for several months she would occasionally pull it out & read those words. someone had loved her enough to name her...where was she? did she wonder? did she worry? but of course! *all* mommas do those things!

with the passing of her momma & daddy, time & life had taken on new meaning. it was just too fleeting...

several years before, at the request of her doctor, the girl had obtained her medical history through the agency who handled her adoption. the counselor who had helped her encouraged her to consider making contact with her birth momma. at the time the girl was fearful of this option...her own children were so very young, she was afraid of how her momma & daddy would feel about it, & she was afraid of hurting this woman who maybe had "moved on"...

so she said no...but she did not forget what the counselor said...

all women wonder...

& it was likely that her momma was told that she should never, ever, under any circumstances try to find the child ever again!

one day, holding the adoption decree with her first name, the girl called the agency again. the proper legal channels were followed. in time contact was established by the counselor with her birth momma...stories & updates flowed in the three way conversation of many months.

the girl decided that she would send a letter through the counselor. she poured out her heart & bravely included her phone number at the bottom of it.

the phone rang. three hours of stories & history were shared.

they met. face-to-face...for the first time in over 39 years! it all seemed so natural...like no time at all had passed! there were so many coincidences, so many similarities! so much joy!

& now, in case, my dear reader, that you haven't guessed...i am that little girl grown up...& J. is my birth momma! we are 2 years passed our first meeting & i have lost that "unfinished" feeling that i carried with me so many years!

today, i share this story because it is a very special day...it is my birth momma J.'s birthday!!! what a woman she is! what a heroine to us!

J., may you have the happiest of days today...happy, happy birthday!!
J. & Little Man, sunset by the bay

13 comments:

rochambeau said...

Happy Birthday J. We are happy your were born, and that you gave us Qualcoa di bello! And how Grace has brought you together again!!
Maybe Q will give you a spin on her Vespa!

sognatrice said...

Happy happy birthday Momma J!

What a wonderful story, and a wonderful telling of that story; brava to both of you strong, courageous women (which, coincidentally, would be "brave!" in Italian) :)

Wicked H said...

Wishing Mama J happiness today and ALL days.

Such a beautiful story.

Shan said...

Happy Birthday Momma J!

What a beautiful post.

andrena said...

what a beautiful story. I did the same thing that "J" did. But I gave my daughter up to be adopted by my own mom, because at the time, things were hard, so very hard..and I knew my mom and sis would provide for her, in ways I could not.

I have kept contact with my daughter. She is 19 and has been dancing for 14 years...has been overseas dancing, appeared on "The Apollo" twice, and is currently a freshman at Virginia State University.

I am glad that you found your mom, glad that you were raised in such a loving family.

blessings on you both!

susan said...

What a beautiful story...all the more so because it is true.

Have a wonderful birthday Momma J!

eb said...

Happy Birthday J.!!!!!!!!

and what a wonderful story and so so beautifully told and shared...

my husband is adopted and we talk about this possibility frequently...

thank you for sharing this wonderful love with all of us...

xox - eb.

Andrea said...

Your beautifully told story made me cry. I mean, it is about that time of the month, so it all came pouring out :-) I'm so happy for you and your Momma. Much love, Andrea

qualcosa di bello said...

constance...i just bet she could be convinced to hop aboard...she is a brave soul & a little bit crazy too! ;)

sognatrice...i hardly feel brave next to J. i had such a cushy life compared to her story (which i would just love to share, but only if she wanted that)...she is the bravest person i know!

thank you oh wicked one!

& you too shan!

andrena...you have my heartfelt feelings of awe! that is the same sentiment J. expresses. what women you both are!

susan...i am glad you enjoyed the weaving of the story...i wasn't sure if i could tell it... it is very emotional!

eb...i wish your hubby many blessings in his circumstances. the place of wondering is such a strange one...you can see the best & the worst. i felt like i became whole when i met J., it just filled in all my "gaps"...

andrea... please take a cyber-tissue from me...it made me cry too while i was typing! love back to you!

Karen Cole said...

Beautiful story. Happy photo and happy birthday to go along with it.

qualcosa di bello said...

welcome back, karen!! thank you very much...J is going to love all these happy birthday wishes coming her way!

Karina said...

This brought tears to my eyes, it was a beautiful tribute to J as well as to your mommy and daddy.

Tienne said...

How beautiful! Bless J for her sacrifice, hard though it was, and for the many beautiful gifts her choice poured into your life. Those who oppose adoption for its cruelty can take heart from stories like yours. :)