22 February 2009
will i ever blog again??
i am beginning to wonder...i am swimming in a sea of technology & reading & writing & keeping boyworld in line. in the middle of it all, i think about my blog but never at a moment when i might actually attend to it. i have spent countless hours spring cleaning over the last few weeks (even the attic!) & occasionally my thoughts have swirled with prayers (especially for philip, fr. reggie & our friend D.) & also with words to blog.the prayers continue heavenward, but the blog words are swept away in the dustpan. i've actually been feeling more word-quiet lately. less of my own thoughts...more paying attention to life without a need to dialogue with it. really, just many moments of simply being in the moment. last night i woke before the 4th watch with a poem dangling at the edge of my sleep, words that were accessible to me & so i wrote them down. (my poetry is here.) i fell immediately back to sleep...a deep, intensely satisfying sleep that is a joy from which to wake.my other focus in recent days is the beginning of lent this wednesday. in last year's post i noted the sacrifice of going without & the sacrifice of doing. i need both. in reflecting upon what keeps me from a life of holiness, i am being led to my "going without"...in those things that lead me to a life of holiness, i find my sacrifice of doing. my biggest temptation right now is the internet~blogging, facebook, reading a myriad others' writings. (believe me, that was brought to the surface during last weekend's retreat!) the "going without" part of my sacrifice is screamingly apparent!...& for that prompting i will take last year's Holy Week break plus no internet activity until after 5pm each day for the duration of lent. as for the "sacrifice of doing"...the boys & i are pooling our efforts (& those of our generous parish) to help melissa's efforts in romania. i am also reading this. & praying for the grace to continually ask myself: "is this what love looks like?"