31 October 2008

taking a risk this all hallow's eve...

a few days ago in a very benign conversation with an acquaintance, one who has only ever been sweet & kind in my presence & who has a marvelous reputation in my circle, i heard something that has been weaving in & out of my thoughts ever since. my mind just will not let go of what i heard; it even invades my consciousness when i am very busy with other completely unrelated things. in the course of our discussing something that did not involve me & only mildly involved her, she wondered aloud if, because of what we were discussing, i would still want to have anything to do with her. i was so taken aback by her comment that i simply passed it over in the moment.in hindsight, i am hoping that my gut reaction was correct because the feelings that i suspect are behind her words are troubling. what would make a person think that she is so disposable to others? that something so benign would be grounds for tossing a relationship? my heart is hurting for her & anyone else who feels that way. why do we turn our backs on others so easily? granted, sometimes it is an issue of well-being & safety. sometimes it is not a conscious rejection but more like the busy-ness of life getting "in the way." but more often than not, if i am honest with myself i find that i am nursing an old wound~ the source of which i may not even remember. we are called to love those in our lives, all of them...even our so-called enemies. this woman's reaction really opened up the other side of this for me & filled me with an overwhelming sense of compassion.i just cannot stand the thought of someone feeling unlovable. sure we may feel wronged by another's words or actions...maybe it truly was personal or maybe we were just in the way of someone's bad day. but no matter...take that risk to love someone who has wronged you. reach out to them. they may reach back. or maybe not...but *you* can still love them. & we all need that.today we have prepared our enchanted forest (really just our front garden, but in the dark it's a mystical place) for the children of our neighborhood for tonight's hallowe'ening. i am strategically located in the center of the forest, handing out goodies to all the brave trick or treaters. as they enter the path, i see hesitation on their parts (hallowe'en is a bit scary afterall!). this is not just another doorbell to ring; this looks a bit more risky~ dark & full of unknown. when they reach me, it is a delight to see a sense of triumph on their faces, knowing they have overcome their fears & come to a place of familiar, one with a treat! taking a risk doesn't always fix everything & not every treat at the end is as tangible as a piece of chocolate, but in the end, love is always worth it.

11 comments:

Annie said...

I have been troubled by similar questions as well, Deb. Such impressions take you so by surprise that it isn't till later that the impact hits you. I find that there is no formula for handling such situations. Sometimes I'll follow up because I know the person well. Sometimes I take my time, looking for an opportunity to follow-up. Or I may not follow-up at all determining that to say anything at all might embarrass the individual. As you said, we might just have been in the way of someone's bad day. I can think of a lot of times I've actually said thoughts outloud and then wondered why in the world I said such a thing. Inevitably, the words were worse in my own mind than in the mind of the listener. Knowing your kind heart, I believe you will find your way to making the right decision on how to handle this particular event. Hugs to you, Annie

Katelyn said...

I love you. I hope that you know that.

Catvibe said...

This is such a thoughtful post. I have felt these things and wondered about them, and I have known people whom I have felt would drop me in a heartbeat if I was no longer convenient to them. Choosing to love anyway is a big risk, but one that is always worth taking.

Beckie said...

You have a heart full of love and kindness. There are many people that would let such a comment pass without another thought.

Leslie said...

You do have a kind heart, that you worry about this acquaintance feeling unlovable. That the thought continues to weave through your mind.

I remember once, a good friend was a on a ski vacation with me and some others. It was the first time she had attempted the sport. She was overcome with fear, and made the decision that she just wouldn't do it. Naturally, that was fine with me and everyone else who was there. But, I will never forget her asking us if we were disappointed in her. It just wouldn't have occurred to me to be disappointed.

paulanm said...

Sometimes we forget that .....

LOVE - IS - EVERYTHING

Maryann said...

I love your enchanted forest :)

michelle of bleeding espresso said...

You write so beautifully and are so compassionate, both of which I knew, but I had *no* idea you were so talented in making an enchanted forest! How cool :)

the Tramp said...

Hi, thank you for your visit in my blog.Congratulations for your blogs: blogs is a very hard work...I hope to be able to read all your posts.See you soon.

bellamocha said...

You have the warmest heart and extend the most loving hand of friendship...a beautiful post. You 'commenters' here have wise and caring thoughts too.
I shall remember this post.
Bella :)

qualcosa di bello said...

annie...your comment really adds something very important to this post. thank you so much!

k...i know you do! i love you too kiddo!

cat...it is so hard to be on the receiving end of that sentiment, but making the choice to love does ease the situation on the only level it can in that circumstance.

beckie...one kindred soul to another...i do believe that often it seems one has 'let it pass' but really the person doesn't know how to respond & is paralyzed by a fear of saying/doing the wrong thing.

oh leslie, me neither!

paula...EXACTLY!!!
it hurts to love that way but it is always the right choice.

maryann...me too!!

michelle...D. gets most of the creative credit on that one! i just sit there & look scary!

tramp....e`stato un vero piacere leggere il tuo blog. mi piace molto il titolo...e` sentimentale!

bella...i am *sooooo* glad to see you back in the blogosphere! & you are correct...i had hoped to generate some thoughts & truly the comments are a blessing to the discussion.