30 days of gratitude...for comfort in the sorrow. when my parents passed away, we lived in a new place far from them. one death was expected; the other a total shock only 11 days later. 2 funerals in 7 days. no matter how hard i try each year , i cannot dodge the memories of these days...even if i did not know the calendar, i would know by the slant of light & the rhythms of life. in the midst of this time, i was certainly moving forward in the current of "what must be done"...but my heart was wrapped in a protective layer of shock.
it was in this time that love had so many faces in my life...friends who cared not one whit for the charges on their cell phone bills~ they called often & talked as long as i needed. friends who dropped everything & came. friends who told other friends who told other friends & for the prayers of them all~ i could feel them every waking moment. new friends who were far away were no longer new friends...on our return home just days before Christmas after nearly a month away they had filled the frig & decorated the entire house & made sure we did not celebrate Christmas alone. friends who took the children out for fun (they really needed that) when i needed some down time. friends who recognized my slobbery, weeping voice when i called but could not speak for a bit. for Father F. who listened to my sorrowing struggles & gently helped with the funerals...as did B., a family friend & our funeral director~~a man so very kind & so very gifted in his work~ he is just what a grieving family needs. D.'s parents, who had the children nearly the entire month surrounding the illness, hospitals & funeral planning. D.~~ who was a circle of love around me the entire time protecting me from so many things, never considering himself through it all.
& i have a deep, deep gratitude for my faith...somewhere, at the core of it all, in the worst days, i could feel the love of God wrapped around me like the most comfortable quilt. i can't explain. i don't even care to.