PIACERE

i don't know where you are...

2011-10-23T16:28:00.003-04:00

...& i'm not sure that it matters.

during my time praying lauds yesterday, i was remembering some folks who have asked for prayer for various reasons, & i stopped to dwell for a moment on a man named George.

George.

periodically over the last few weeks he has been on my mind both during my prayers and at odd moments outside of them, popping up while i fold some laundry or stir the soup. yesterday, i let my mind wander just a bit more beyond my general begging for God to bless and assist George~~ turning to some very serious gratitude for him being in my life. you see, he is the one who really taught me to pray.

prior to meeting George almost 10 years ago, if someone asked me to remember them in my prayers, i would happily agree to do so and then go my merry way. what followed was some variation of this: run into person who requested the prayer or someone who knows them to find out that a) the circumstances had improved, b) the circumstances has worsened, or c) things were basically the same. i would nod politely (& embarrassingly if the person thanked me for my prayers), then shuffle away feeling awful that i had not honored such a simple & IMPORTANT request. Why? & yet, i continued, as if paralyzed, in this same pathetic mode.

enter George. i met him one of the very first times i was at the sunday homeless dinner in the nearby city. he was an outgoing gentleman with a ready smile and a twinkle in his eye. always. our first conversation was full of laughter, sharing some of our stories as people do when they first meet. it goes without saying that not every part of his life was sparkly, as he was living on the street, but those tough parts of his life did not remotely dampen the joy that he carried & shared. for many weeks & years after that first encounter, every sunday that it was our family's turn at the dinner, George was always front & center to share a hug, some good news & encouragement. one of those many sundays in the mix of years, as we were ready to leave for the day, he grabbed my hand & looked me square in the eye, requesting, "will you pray for me? i will pray for you everyday."

something about his look & the urgency of his words made my soul sit up & pay attention. it was as if it said to me, ... look, you failed in this before, but this is serious business. it is necessary. & you must do it. no more dragging of the feet.

i could not, under any circumstances in that moment do anything but say "yes" & mean it. my drive home was spent pondering how to make this real. every. day. i scanned my brain for something that would help me remember to take this request seriously, to integrate it into my daily life. i realized that my prayer life in general was quite haphazard; it lacked any sort of structure that would be the skeleton that held it together. considering my daily activities, i remembered the journal that i used nearly everyday for poetry & nonsense, thinking...hey, why not write notes to God. & along the way, write George's name in the margin to jog the lazy memory. this urgency for my friend's request opened up a whole new beautiful world to me as i realized that God is not something far off & He loves to chat over coffee, or to receive my tears poured out for a friend who is hurting, or to hear me moan over some silly perplexing thing of mine while i vacuum, or maybe best of all, to have me just sit with Him in the Adoration chapel quietly & gratefully just. just...

through the years George has also taught me more about the Body of Christ than all of my intellectual theological pursuits combined. what it really means to be members of His Body, to sorrow when when part hurts, to take joy with another. a few years ago George stopped coming to sunday dinners. not one of the regular crowd knew where he was or why he wasn't coming. i missed him very much. of course, he remained firmly in my prayers.

but now...

at first it was strange for me to intercede for someone with whom there was no follow up. i no longer knew of his needs, his struggles, his triumphs. but in my praying for him i discovered that we were still connected somehow. & it didn't matter that i didn't know. God certainly knows. i am not to worry. not a bit. but i am to keep that promise to George. i do. & in this doing, i've learned to trust. that He cares more for George (& for all of us) than i could possibly imagine. that faith means doing things for something which i may never know the outcome. that my very small sacrifice of intercession for George matters very much to God because He created George as a unique individual out of His infinite love....something true for each and every of us.

it no longer matters where George is...what matters is love.

re-entry...

2011-07-09T11:37:00.005-04:00

no mincing words...it was a long blog break & it was as it should have been. yesterday as i contemplated the outcome of my daily errands, i knew something had changed.

2 boys. not our boys. but they could easily be our boys.

in orvieto, italy last week, D. & i stumbled into a church as we are wont to do while meandering around italy. we wander in our separate ways, breathing the quiet in prayer, begging, thanking. i usually light candles for various intentions. in that darkened church my eye was caught by something i had not encountered previously in italy...a photograph of a young man & a guest book for his forthcoming funeral. immediately there was a lump in my throat. he was young~ late teens or early twenties. my gut said "no" but the evidence & the reality whispered "yes." ok. i steered back in the direction of a side altar near the high altar where the candles could be lit, to offer prayers for his soul & his family. as my eyes adjusted, i realized that the young man's coffin was resting in front of the high altar. alone. i was undone by this memento mori, knowing that orvieto has stuck with me in a profound way from this defining moment. candles lit, prayers offered, i stumbled out into the light that was both welcome & harsh, thinking on death & not without hope.

fast-forward to yesterday. my early morning errands included a stop at the bank machine before daily Mass. at that hour the bank is not open, but it is not unusual to find another car or two there for the same reason i was there. there was a car in the lot, but oddly, no one at either bank machine making a transaction. my first impulse was to circle out of the lot & return at a later hour when the bank would be open, but for some reason, i did not. nudged on, i pulled up to the bank machine directly beside the suspicious car. my heart went to my throat at the sight...a young man was sleeping in the front seat & did not stir at my arrival. in the back seat of his car seemed to be all the possessions he owned, clean & rather neatly arranged. he, too, seemed clean & dressed just as any other young man in a crowd of late teens or early twenties. the car was not a newer model but it was in decent shape.

were i to see any pieces of this total picture by themselves...the boy, his belongings, the car...they likely would not catch my eye at all. they were ordinary. but together... i looked for a long moment, wondering what brought him to this. wondering if he had someone missing him, if he had a place for a soft landing. wondering if his mother ached to know where he was in that moment, remembering the days she rocked him to sleep in a loving, safe home & kissed his forehead goodnight. these and a million more thoughts broke my heart. i was tempted to tap on the window & offer to buy him something to eat, to take him to Mass with me. but i didn't. the same thing the urged me into the parking spot beside him held me back from doing more. so i did my banking & returned to the car, taking one last look at him. i knew in that moment that this boy would be in my prayers for a very long time.

well...

2009-11-28T14:55:00.001-05:00

...do you??

humble thoughts on forgiveness...

2009-11-24T14:28:00.000-05:00

forgive me if i've seen
the splinter in your eye
then hit you with the plank in mine
while reaching to "fix" you

free-falling...

2009-11-21T12:22:00.009-05:00

did you ever have one of those days when beauty conspires to pull you out of your ordinary, maybe even kicking & screaming out of the clutches of feeling blue? why do we sometimes wallow willingly in drudgery when we live one blink of the eye away from the incredible?...last monday was like a waking from my all-too-usual sleepwalk through a mundane monday. D. came home from work & proclaimed it a day too gorgeous to spend indoors any longer & so we were off, wandering the nearby tidal creek, basking in fall's perfection...he knew i might have a tendency to be a bit blue that day as i remembered my daddy's passing & as we meandered, he kept telling me that spending some time in nature would be just what daddy would want to do...so true! i could feel a rush of wonderful memories from years past~~moments working side-by-side in the fading dusk to rake fall leaves, filling bird feedings while he taught me the names of the birds, rides on the tractor to collect tree prunings (oh, the joy when i could sit in his lap & steer!!)...we were regaled with otters' antics...late-season egrets returning to their old summer roosts...flocks of geese on the move (& a tad camera-shy too)...even a curious feline...the russet hues & slant of light...capped off with a brilliant sunset for the slow cruise home with a pause to watch the stars come out, one by one...
a day well-spent, weaving memories old while making new!

beauty all around

2009-11-12T06:09:00.000-05:00

on land...or at sea...the fruits of this season are not to be missed!

remembering 20 years ago today...

2009-11-09T00:47:00.001-05:00

the fall of the berlin wall on 9 november 1989 was a profound moment in time. as i traveled this past summer behind the old iron curtain, i did so with disbelief...i never thought that journey possible as a teenager & yet there i was. i kept telling myself, 'never, ever forget.'

my time in romania & hungary was spent with a deep sense of gratitude. when i would catch glimpses of old barricades & watchtowers, i would shudder at the thought of what those now-abandoned structures used to mean. we all need to jog our memories from time to time, because as the years pass, it is so easy to fall into complacency, especially when life is good & trials are few.

in remembrance today i offer more 'snapshots on the journey'~~ this time from budapest, hungary, which is my very favorite european city, for me second only to venice, italy. our border crossing was met with friendly guards who took our passports & offered us americans condolences on the passing of michael jackson...we were welcomed with such kindness & fields of sunflowers...& a sunset over the danube in budapest...this is a city of great beauty~ even the subway stops are gorgeous...we decided to start our first day with some persective for the younger folk traveling with us who were not old enough to remember the cold war...a visit to the terror museum was a sobering event...every face on the walls in the atrium represents a victim...we moved from this tragic reminder of the past into the beauty of now...wandering first around pest, visiting sights like heroes' square...enjoying something a bit lighter~ the zoo...before deciding to brave the climb of buda & see the city from a different angle...we crossed the szechenyi chain bridge...hopped the castle hill funicular (vertigo, anyone?!?)...to enjoy the view from the top of castle hill...& after walking many, many miles that day, an awesome meal (hungarian goulash...ohhhhh, those noodles. carb-loading perfection!.), some of the best food on our entire 5 week trip!!...the next morning we dashed to the train; our short weekend in budapest had come to an end...it was time to head back into western europe~~ next stop vienna, austria...moving on, but not forgetting...

prayers please...

2009-11-04T12:52:00.004-05:00

...for mandy

la festa di ognissanti

2009-11-01T17:17:00.008-05:00

& so today begins a month that is not always so easy for me to navigate...it seems so fitting to me that my parents' passings were during the month that begins with the feasts of All Saints & All Souls...st. benedict wrote in his 'rule' to 'keep death daily before one's eyes'...during november this directive to remember death is not so difficult for me to follow...last night at the All Saints vigil Mass, fr. T's encouraging words reminded me that for most of my days i do not spend enough time thinking on the Last Things...nor do i usually frame the context of my thoughts & actions around my final end...does what i am thinking, doing, creating in my everyday life matter toward this end?...in other words, am i doing what i am supposed to be doing right here, right now. i so often find myself looking down~ looking at the nitty-gritty very small picture...forgetting my purpose, forgetting to look up~ keeping an eye on the end of our journey...this feast reminds me of where i am going...& it reminds too that we do not navigate this alone; we have friends for the journey, friends in very high places! their examples of holy lives, their intercessions available to us now offer much comfort to us each day...

one last summer thought...

2009-10-10T15:57:00.001-04:00

there is a place where we go...a secret tidal creek that shoots off our bay...to learn this secret one must watch in the early summer twilight, the way which the egrets fly at the end of their day...to enter this secret cove that varies from year to year...one must hush & let the tide have its way...but the reward is great as the sun falls...soon gentle wings caress the air & the trees are ornamented...as the egrets of our marsh & bay yield to twilight's yearnings & find a roost for the night to stay...as graceful night sweeps the sky, one's soul is refreshed here in the last bit of the light of day...

awwww, autumn...

2009-10-07T01:41:00.000-04:00

once upon a time i had embraced this season with a hearty hug of welcome. though i honestly don't prefer winter, i found the sensual slide toward its solstice one of incredible beauty. as the light changes & the colors deepen, as nature quiets & the harvest moon fills, my summer movement would quiet...D. & i met on the last sigh of summer & spent the whole of that first autumn together, falling in love surrounded by swirling red & gold leaves & the scent of campfires, hiking through morning mists while the first light touched our childhood fields...in our early years together, autumn always heralded a special feeling of the thrill of those first days together. even though we were creeping toward a pennsylvania winter, i still reveled in all of its glory...then we moved south...warmer autumns with equally beautiful light were fine by me...then we moved to the coast...& autumn brought a new friend - hurricanes! i didn't realize until this very equinox, i have spent the last few autumns holding my breath, praying that we would be spared a major hurricane. no enjoyment. none. this year we have been blessedly spared an active tropical season & i have once again fallen in love with this glorious season...last week we walked on the beach in the perfect twilight, fished under almost-full moons, gathered wildflowers, & sat by campfires. & i have learned a lesson~ no more missing the beauty in worry over something that may or may not happen. now certainly, if we were to have a hurricane land here in our bay, i am sure i will have a different focus, but in the meantime, i am once again reveling in autumn's awesome beauty! :-) & may this beautiful day find you enjoying its blessings...

poetry prompts & travel dreams

2009-10-03T19:13:00.012-04:00

{descent}

nothing is quite so sweet
to this wanderlusting soul
as those words that interrupt
my in-flight movie:
"ladies & gentlemen...
shortly we will be making our descent..."

one single impression's prompt for this week ~ descent ~ takes a turn in the direction of travel for me as we gear up for a trip to Charleston SC, contemplate a december return to roma (for a very special friend's ordination), & begin to lay some groundwork for 2010 journeys...here (of course!)...but also here?...here?...or maybe here again?? i really do like the excitement of potential journeys, the comparing of places, all the hopefulness of new experiences! as i perused my romania photos from last summer, i got a lump in my throat about the possibility of going back...but that remains in God's hands right now!

after we left suceava, romania last summer, we stopped again in oradea & were blessed with a free day on our hands. we ambled around the city with melissa...mesmerized by the beautiful old churches & the communist-era buildings...i was so grateful that the old way had not been completely destroyed. my heart could not comprehend the events that my mind knew had transpired there in the last century. how i would have loved to join these two gentlemen on that park bench to hear the stories they could tell....but there were sobering reminders that spoke without words, like this memorial to victims of nazi occupation...an entire room just outside the moon curch (Biserica cu Luna) was filled with candles lit for loved ones lost...a short distance from this church was the St. Nicholas Greek Catholic Church...where we had the sweet pleasure of meeting the sacristan who spoke fluent *english*! (the first time in nearly a week we heard our native tongue outside our little group)...he told of history, both sad & joyful, of those who gave their lives so readily in order that this time may be what it is. & he showed us the great treasure held in his church...a first class relic of St. Nicholas (some of his bones).

our stroll through this beautiful city continued...eventually leading us to this painted monastery...a place so incredibly beautiful & so peaceful...one was utterly removed from the world in the enclosure...the place has settled into my dreams now that i am home...as i organize & upload these photo reminders, i tell myself it is no wonder i am dreaming of 2010's travel possibilities!!

next stop on the journey of reminiscing is my very favorite~ budapest!

oradea, romania, june, 2009

snapshots on the journey7...

2009-09-27T12:27:00.012-04:00

with wanderlust in high gear, our gang of 6 caught a morning flight to budapest, hungary, and met a lovely driver & his wife for the road to romania~~ destination melissa's apartment in oradea. with bags (HEAVY bags) in tow filled to brimming with goodies for the orphanage, we navigated fiumicino airport (quite possibly the *entire* airport) looking for our ticket counter, our gate & one last buon caffe`.

when it was time to fly, little did we know what a treat awaited us...i am fairly certain our pilot for this air one flight was a former roman taxi driver! before that day i did not know that planes on the runway could take 90 degree turns at high rates of speed nor did i know just how quickly one may approach a terminal & yet still not hit the passengers waiting inside!! really, where it counts for me~ that would be in the air!!~ he was a fabulous pilot (though before takeoff i was praying with more zeal than average!).

landing in hungary, i was hungry (a pun, yes!!) for my first glimpse of eastern europe. i grew up in the days of the cold war & i must honestly say, as a teenager, my travel dreams did not include countries behind the iron curtain...that seemed so far out of reach. but we were there! this is one efficient airport ~ ferihegy...off the plane, luggage right inside the door & *ready* in minutes, bathroom to the immediate left, the all important ATM right beside the luggage conveyor! wow!! i do not speak a lick of any eastern european languages, but hungary is so navigable, the people so wonderful (more on that later, with our return trip & our stay in budapest). time in this airport was short for us (the one part of that day this was true!) because of its efficient layout & because our romanian driver was just outside the terminal & ready to roll. in no time we were passing through the rolling countryside, settled into our 3 hour drive.

the border crossing was met with excitement because it meant we were close to that night's destination & because H1N1 was a very big deal. we were detained for a bit & had to sign health statements, but melissa had warned us of this because we were US citizens & 4 of of our group had just come from the states. they must have liked the looks of us (ie., no one was ill!!) & soon we were entering oradea.

on the drive one misconception was cleared rather quickly for me...so many folks had told me that romanian is very similiar to italian & latin. well, that is true~~ for the written word. the spoken word, not so much. i realized that communicating would be a greater challenge than originally thought. also consider that very few romanians speak any english. no matter, because human kindness is apparent in spite of words & romania's people are some of the kindest i have encountered in travel!...our driver took us straight to melissa's apartment & we were greated with big hugs & an authentic romanian meal prepared by melissa's friend to welcome us. time for some R&R at the end of travel day #1 because the next day would find us unexpectedly on the road again & for a bit longer...a 10 hour train ride through the carpathian mountains into the region of transylvania...to the city of suceava. our plans to help at the orphanage had hit a governmental snag & we were heading to the place where melissa would eventually move. while staying in suceava we spent our days in the village of stroiesti...with our change in plans, melissa found other ways that we could be of help~~ we spent time with the children who were on summer break (melissa had prepared some lessons on Psalm 139 & part of KV's brimming bags included craft supplies that were quickly put to use!)...we helped a pastor of a village church with manual labor tasks...we visited the childrens' families...& we toured the medical facilities & met the physician & dentist that serve these very poor folks...this place was a real eye-opener~~ all water is drawn from wells...there is no electricity, outhouses are it baby!, & the mode of transportation is horse & wagon...we went from a slick post-communism city on the move to a 15th century village in the space of a 1/2 hour's car ride. i truly hope to take a medical team back in the future, God willing. romania is an incredibly beautiful country with equally beautiful people. we felt very blessed to be there & be so warmly welcomed...up next...our journey toward western europe~ more romania & hungary, followed by stops in vienna, venice, & roma!

suceava/stroiesti, romania, guigno, 2009

water, water everywhere...

2009-09-13T08:43:00.004-04:00

one single impression's prompt for this week is thirst, suggested by my bellavia. this seems an ironic word to me after a week of grey skies & a day of being inundated with rainfall (8 inches in one 18 hour period!), after spending time looking over the bay this morning considering the prompt & marveling over the fact that i am surrounded by water, after wandering back inside for a glass of fresh, clean water without a second thought. it seems as though what i thirst for isn't necessarily a drink...{thirst}

surrounded by water
but i only see the reflection
of the sky
as i look up
while my mind on its pilgrimage
can only think:
"i thirst"
the cloud above like a well
& i think:
"for you my soul thirsts"
& so i walk on looking up

snapshots on the journey6...

2009-09-10T02:21:00.000-04:00

sidetrippin'...

D., Baby Girl & Big Bro~ flown home. Little Man & i remain. crazy eastern european travel buds not yet arrived. what to do, what to do??...

check iRail app, find next train to firenze, of course!!!...stop by my favorite church (Santa Margherita in Maria de' Ricci)...take a passeggiata, enjoying the beauty of this wonderful city...while indulging in a gelato (of course!!!)...& catch the train back to roma for nighty night!...Firenze never fails to call my name whenever i am in the bel paese!

another day of down-time in roma~~ no problema!!! catch another train...visit roma's awesome beach~ santa marinella...have a great night with great friends (still roma's best eats, in my humble opinion!)...catch the even-later train back to roma & sleep well because in the morning its time to welcome more friends from the states & head to romania!...(have crazy...will travel!!!!)...roma, firenze, santa marinella, giugno, 2009

labor day???...

2009-09-07T09:31:00.000-04:00

nope...no labor going on here!!!...have a blessed holiday!

absence makes the heart grow fonder...

2009-09-06T15:14:00.003-04:00

thinking about one single impression's prompt for this week, my mind kept wandering to this summer's phone conversations D. & i shared when we were pressed for time & time zones with an ocean & a continent between us. as i traveled more & more eastward, i kept glancing over my shoulder in his direction, wondering, imagining, remembering, anticipating. with text messages at 50 cents (USD) a pop & phone calls 3-6X that per minute, we had to fit a lot of love in a very short space! & it was sweet!

the previous summer just after travel apart, i penned a poem with thoughts of the time & space between us. i found myself looking westward over the sea, imagining us sharing the sun or the moon in that moment...

{untitled...romance}

between the places
where sea touches sky
a breath escapes
shared by you & ithank you, geraldine, for the lovely prompt! please visit more poetic offerings at OSI.

dreamy...

2009-09-04T19:49:00.004-04:00

ahhhh....a blissful weekend of togetherness at home in between travels & crazy-busy stuff, feeling gratitude for this quiet change...thinking about future journeys & sending blessings to a good friend's new blog!

snapshots on the journey5...

2009-08-26T18:58:00.010-04:00

aahhhhhh, roma! after an incredibly peaceful 10 day journey meandering around the countryside & seaside, was i ready for your bustle, for your traffic, for your myriad of choices? why yes, i believe i was! we frequented our favorite bars (& for those of you who don't know, that's not the same thing as a 'bar' in the US!)...a cappuccino in the morning (bar trevi)...a spritz in the afternoon (bar cento passi)...fueled by fabulous italian food...we were on the move non-stop...new pathways (climb inside St. Peter's dome)...glimpses of mystery...attention to detail...new views (thanks, christopher~~ castel sant'angelo)...moments to reflect...moments to look beyond...sacred moments (Corpus Christi procession with Pope Benedict)...moments where the ordinary and the sacred met (roma's FSSP parish)......a certain slant of light...new sounds...new clarity...& hopefully~~ a return!...roma never disappoints! after 2 weeks of language lessons, a break in the middle to visit florence (that's another 'snapshot' post!), sending Baby Girl home, sending D. & Big Bro home, & greeting our eastern european adventure contingent, we were all-too-soon saying arrivederci, roma! roma, giugno, 2009

so NOT cool anymore...

2009-08-20T13:22:00.006-04:00

i love nature. my favorite way to begin the day is to sit quietly outdoors & watch the sun rise, giving thanks for another glorious day...i love to spend time on the water...time among our flowers & herbs...time watching the wildlife do its thing...but sometimes nature gets close...

a bit too close...

as in front door close!...last week this crazy lady (the size of my hand with fingers spread) set up housekeeping in our front entryway...she was promptly evicted!!! yesterday her friend, no doubt miffed at front-door visitor's swift 'removal,' laid a nice trap for me across our sliding glass door to the back deck. well now, hound patrol moves out sometimes before the light of dawn & this was one of those days. i generally follow them out the door to prevent unwanted 'neighborly' visits. coffee in hand, i was on the tail of the Elusive L. when something felt a bit...ehem...off! & then something was definitely a bit 'on' ~~ as in ON ME!!!!! our new arachnid neighbor (another one the size of my hand was ALL. OVER. ME!!!!!! her web was ALL. OVER. ME!!!!!

in a flash my coffee was all over her. D. was down the stairs with palpitations. boyworld was way-too-awake at an awful hour. most likely our entire neighborhood joined them in this pre-dawn unplanned rising! my screams could have won an oscar. now, i don't want to hurt living creatures, but i am sorry to say, this time i cared not one wit for that spider's well-being. 8 legs crawling on me in my house = serious lack-of-thought-thrashing-throwing-screaming reaction.

D. assured me she was back out the door & even down the deck stairs with a distinct coffee trail (he claims i probably drowned her in that stuff~~ what a waste of good coffee!). i don't know... but from now on, no home exits without light & a spider-removing stick! & now, back to my regularly scheduled summer relaxing...

snapshots on the journey4...

2009-08-18T19:26:00.004-04:00

after the rolling hills of le marche & the mountains of cascia, we were beach-bound for nettuno. while we were laying the groundwork for this journey, Baby Girl requested a visit to this town by the sea in order that she might visit the santuario di nettuno where Saint Maria Goretti (her Confirmation saint) is buried...we arrived mid afternoon, in time to visit this rather modern church & attend Mass. what an awesome sight it was to walk out the church's doors & be greeted by a very tempestous mediterranean sea!!...we could not resist an evening beach walk nor the glorious moonrise over the sea...though our time there was short, it was quite an occasion...Baby Girl & Big Bro celebrated their birthdays (21 & 17 respectively)...& we marked the occasion of D-Day with a visit to the American Cemetery...it was a very humbling experience to realize how many gave their lives to defend the lives of others. & it was also an occasion for D. & i to remember family members' stories about WWII, passing the memories of these noble deeds along to yet another generation...imagine our surprise, when searching the list of servicemen & women who are buried their, we found one with our last name (not a very common name either)...this moment on our journey was a quiet contrast to the busy days ahead in roma~~ one day & one night out of 5 weeks, but one that made a lasting impression.

nettuno, italia, guigno 2009

an ocean of excuses...

2009-08-12T14:29:00.004-04:00

i am late to one single impression's glorious prompt for this week, but i could not pass it by. sweetest in the gale's offering 'ocean' swam in my mind all weekend & i had no computer access but i did have pen & paper. living by the ocean & seeing its beauty in all seasons is one of the greatest blessings in my life...i have worked through so many of my life's puzzles looking out to sea. i have let it carry my worries away on its currents. i have swum for joy in its waves. i have let the music of its tide put me to sleep. i am in awe of its power~ to churn up & to calm down. it is one of the most powerful ways in which God speaks to my heart. it has been my solace in this season of grief & as i let the prompt carry me, i found once again great comfort.{ocean}

an empty void stretched out before me
the abyss of your absence
& in my solitude i cried
an ocean of tears
their current flowed from the heart
of love
their release filled up the valley
of loss
& on their gentle, lapping waves i sailed
cutting through the sun-dappled shine
into the safe harbor
of your armsplease visit OSI for more beautiful poetry

snapshots on the journey3...

2009-08-07T15:57:00.005-04:00

after a week in san vittore of rejuvenation...& hospitality that leaves your soul sighing with satisfaction...it was time to pack the bags once again & hit the open road for the mountain town of cascia......i have a special love for santa rita da cascia & so did my mother-in-law. she & i talked of santa rita often & i wish D.'s momma could have been there with us...it was with great joy that i was able to call her from cascia (cell service in those mountains is sketchy, at best) & tell her about the beauty of that place...the basilica...the town...the mountains...the peace...that fills one's soul...in too short a time, we found ourselves back on the road, bound for a beach just outside of roma~ nettuno...

sometimes...

2009-08-04T14:54:00.004-04:00

...life really is a bed of roses!

snapshots on the journey2...

2009-08-01T00:10:00.001-04:00

sometimes the road stretches out before us...like a seemingly endless summer day...sometimes the world shrinks, the focus becomes something close...either view is a thing of beauty, a joy to behold each & every day...san vittore & cingoli, italia, giugno 2009

summertime...

2009-07-29T05:55:00.000-04:00

...& the livin' is easy!

snapshots on the journey1...

2009-07-28T05:07:00.000-04:00

one of the fruits of blogging is meeting the loveliest of people.if home is where the heart is, sally, you need to keep a cot ready for me...i do believe i have left a piece of my heart in your le marche...nestled among its vines...perched atop its stones...flung into its fields...basking it the sun...thank you for a truly perfect week with just the right balance of friendship, song, caffe, & limoncello! hugs from across the pond...

le marche, italia, maggio/giugno 2009

the fragrance of love

2009-07-26T17:17:00.005-04:00

a soft sunday re-entry into blogging...first, thank you so much for your heart-felt words & prayers since the passing of my dear mother-in-law. in her passing she left a wake of love & faith...a hope of one day being together again which brings us great comfort.

i was glad today to remember one single impression & even more joyed by the prompt {fragrance}...thank you, geraldine for such a lovely one. my mind has been curiously wrapped up in sound lately. i have been contemplating my favorites~~ church bells, train whistles, bagpipes, chant. they will likely become another blogpost, but today it was not hard to make the leap from sound to scent. so many times an unsuspecting fragrance transports me to something with such a sudden rush...what a powerful sense, what a wonder. recently i was getting something from the top shelf of my closet & in the process my momma's blanket fell on me. i pulled it from its sack, burying my nose in it & breathing in the scent of my momma. it was beautifully overwhelming. i slept with the blanket that night.{fragrance}

nestled in my mind

seeded among the colors

of petunia & lilac

of climbing red roses,

the fragrance of love

pulls my heart

into a memory

of your perfume

of a moment snuggled in the pew

waiting for the incense

to tickle my nose

waiting to feel

once again at Home.gratitude for...

145. this powerful & glorious sense

146.for the love of family & friends that weaves together a quilt of comfort

147. for journeys completed in joy & safety

148. for my faith which sustains meplease visit OSI for more lovely poetry

with love...

2009-07-15T09:01:00.004-04:00

you were the most wonderful mother-in-law a girl could want. you will be so sorely missed.requiem eternam
requeim eternam dona eis
Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis
requiescant in pace amen.please remember Patricia & her family in your prayers. her funeral Mass is on 16 july, the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.for now i'm taking a bit of a break from blogging. a very special thank you to my prayer warriors in the Eternal City... with love until next time, QdiB

Please...keep D. in your prayers. His Momma just passed away

2009-07-11T19:42:00.002-04:00

i hope i remember how to do this...

2009-07-07T13:32:00.003-04:00

...blog, that is! it's been awhile & there is so much to share, but for today it is enough to say how glad i am to be home spending a quiet afternoon alone chopping shallots for the french potato salad that will be a side for tonight's dinner, listening to ann savoy on the iPod, reminiscing about so many adventures last month, & looking forward tonight to sleeping on freshly laundered sheets that are drying right now in the delicious sea breeze. all is well & i pray the same for you...

here & there

2009-05-26T16:13:00.006-04:00

first...my heart is with dear karen in this difficult time. if you have a moment, drop by this lovely lady's blog & give her a kind word & a cyber hug.
Requiem eternam
Requiem eternam dona eis
Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis
Requiescant in pace
Amensecond...annie, you read my mind in the 24 may post! your comments echo my thoughts exactly. i didn't even write a poem for one single impression though i thought the photos conveyed the sentiments adequately. if you would like a whirlwind poetic adventure, please visit OSI where the prompt this week is 'dropped'.finally...a hint as to why all the blog-laziness...in just 48 hours we will be winging our way to this glorious place! i will no doubt breathe a huge sigh of relief as all the busy-ness of daily life & how one might condense 2 months worth of chores into 1 settles into a restful week with the family followed by 2 weeks of italian lessions & finally a grand adventure with melissa! stay tuned for travel updates!!

dropped

2009-05-24T11:55:00.003-04:00

blog-lazy...

2009-05-19T18:19:00.000-04:00

lately it seems as though i've been doing everything but blogging. we've gone from wrapping up the school year ~ mine with all the papers finally turned in & the boys with all exams skillfully taken ~ to another round of home chores that involve my nemesis (construction) & blessed time working with our negected yard...that's a pretty fair balance...any aggravation left over from dealing with hammering & contractors' crazies is easily remedied with getting my hands dirty in the soil in anticipation of summer blooms to delight the eye & fresh herbs for the palate...i tend to lose myself in the scent of the earth that mingles on a sea breeze with magnolia...my thoughts happily drifting everywhere & nowhere, wandering the backroads of my memory & meandering with hope into the coming weeks' plans...the reward at the end of the day~~ a hot shower for those tired muscles i forgot existed & a glass of wine on the dock at sunset. sleep tonight will be a welcome embrace...

my "to do" list...

2009-05-14T12:41:00.001-04:00

windswept

2009-05-11T07:57:00.000-04:00

in the beginning of may D. & i celebrated our anniversary with a perfect get-a-way to a nearby island...a place accessible only by ferry with a wind-swept wildness to it that both enticed me & unnerved me...my dreamer self kept saying "you would love to live here" & my practical self (the one that keeps tabs on home maintenance & pays bills) kept saying "no you wouldn't!"...no matter, that didn't stop me from leaving my actual stress & worry behind as the mainland faded out of sight...my cares floated away...into the wake of the boat, looking light a trail of rose petals until all that was left was the moment...on the island we settled into the rhythm of the tides...hiking, climbing, snoozing, floating...around every corner was something to refresh...& just how was i so certain that this was the perfect get-a-way?? at the end of the journey i was just as excited to return home!

touch of love

2009-05-03T19:43:00.003-04:00

our roses are in a fit of profuse bloom right now & i cannot resist keeping a few clipped & scattered about in bud vases indoors. one of my favorite spots for a bloom is on the windowsill of our kitchen sink. last week i was washing dishes, lost in thought, when a breeze carried the scent to me...memories of my daddy immediately filled my mind. he used to raise the very same variety that was blooming right in front of me. when i checked one single impression's prompt for this week's poetry, i was again lost in that moment. our senses can really stir so many memories in unexpected & quite beautiful ways! thank you to whomever suggested this prompt.

touch of love {tactile}

a breeze slipped

through the window screen

carrying a bit of you

& so i leaned into breathe

something of my childhood

rose petal against my cheek

softer than

a tear

memo to Baby Girl...

2009-04-28T05:50:00.000-04:00

...on the occasion of the end of your junior year of college...someone misses you...terribly...staring out the window most of the day...the elusive L. is ready for you to finish those final exams...& come home!!! in bocca al lupo!

love,

your momma (& the hound)

another word...

2009-04-26T08:41:00.008-04:00

**updated**...& yet another word...cure! please follow this link for an explanation & then keep going on the links to steven's video (also in my sidebar under 'light a candle')...please visit often between now & 30 april.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
following on the heals of last week's "one word" prompt at one single impression is "word" offered by jeeves of silence is poetic (love the name of her blog!!). i find the other word that is often foremost in my mind right along with "gratitude" is "love." i am surrounded by it...whether it be God's love expressed in more ways than i can imagine (He is so wooing me with His delightful spring right now)...or the love of my precious family~~ & these are just the tip of my iceberg of love!!love

woven in the words

traveling miles

or inches

enveloped actions

catching my heartstrings

speaking to the center

of life's delight

bidden or not

love is here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

speaking love on this fine spring day here in NC...2 guys very dear to my heart just went out to sea...calm waters & the hope of fish bites for them...the hope of some kind of tasty fresh-catch seafood dinner for me! (actually, for all of us!)...no pressure, guys!i am keeping watch on the deck with a fresh cup of coffee, enjoying the still, salty air & joyful birdsong. the hounds have found a sunbeam for snoozing.life is indeed good!

beach glass

2009-04-24T14:10:00.000-04:00

walking along the sand
bag in my hand
with thoughts to clean
my storm-pounded beach
as best i can.
i started my walk
wind in my hair
sun on my back
eyes drawn to pieces of this and that,bottles and cans purged from the sea
i would retrieve
as i walked along my soul was quieted
lulled by the rhyming waves
my worries took flight in the wind
i began to see beyond
that which did not belong
drawn to the intricacies of shell
colors of water and sand
cockeyed looks of seabirds standing by
and the majestic pelican's graceful glide
with him i felt my spirit fly.

i still gathered the sea's

unwanted debris

but my mind had shifted in thought

to the acres of diamonds

right under my feet.

sidetracked...

2009-04-21T19:53:00.003-04:00

must. write. paper...but i keep reading blogs, reading facebook updates, answering email, looking outside the window...

ah, yes!~~ glorious spring!! a warm breeze carrying the scent of blossoms through the open window. i think i'll turn off the computer & take a walk...

one word

2009-04-19T15:36:00.007-04:00

after an exceptionally busy week, early this morning i finally had a free moment to click over to one single impression to check the poetry prompt. one word...hmmmmm. i don't do "one" word very well (just ask D. or the soul sisters!!!); i'm more like a "whole story" kinda gal. heck, i even talk in my sleep, sometimes in italian according to D. but one word?? that word must be a very important word, not just a run-of-the-mill, everyday type word...it must be a truly inspired word. honestly, choosing just one is like asking me for a preference on my last meal when i just want to eat my way around the world (or at the very least around the **gelato** world!)...i decided to sit with this prompt through the day to see what might unfold in the course of events.on the drive into the city my thoughts rolled around between choosing a word & the week in passing. i spent an afternoon on the phone with one of my very dearest friends who has just lost her momma, bumping around that strange & sticky world of fresh grief.

i spent another day with melissa packing a garageful of clothing to be shipped for her ministry in romania...which led me to near-panic on the drive home that evening~~ we are bound for europe in just 6 short weeks for a journey that lasts 6 weeks & i had not really organized all the notes & emails for that time, nor had i made a good working "to do" list. (yes, that list is now made & the info packet for the entire journey is printed & organized!)

while i was printing all the lodging confirmations from my email's inbox my italian instructor sent me the 2nd email in as many days, this one with an element of concern ("are you alright?? i have not heard from you this week!") . this prompted a side-tracked response with more verb errors that i care to admit, all the while upping my general panic level another notch (yellow to orange, perhaps?!?!)...must. study. conjugations!!...classes start in 7 weeks!at this point on the drive i found myself taking a deep breath, & then refocusing what we were doing today. we were heading to brunch to see an old friend who was playing a gig. no ordinary guy...an amazing flamenco guitarist who is whupping cancer's backside right now!! it was so good to see paco again. he's looking a bit under the weather but his music is as strong as ever.

aaaahhhhh...time together with D. & my boys, a good meal, the best music, a stroll to the river afterwards on this fine carolina spring day...the thought of "one word" came rushing back to me on the drive home. i must admit that the first word that came to mind was "nap"! (i'm a huge fan of restful sundays.)but as my thoughts threaded together, the ever-present whisper was "gratitude." i'm so grateful...

136. for a dear friend like L. & for her momma who brought her into this world, for a chance to be there for her at this hard time...

137. grateful for melissa & her work, for the example she is to my children...

138. grateful for the awesome privilege of travel & all that affords, for the privilege of being able to join melissa if only for a short while...

139. grateful for the opportunity to study the language of my heart in its native country, for my italian instructor, a true peach of a woman with the patience of a saint & a true gift for teaching...

140. & speaking of gifts~~ grateful for paco & his music...

141. grateful for the privilege of holding these wonderful folks in prayer in these difficult days, days of adjustments large & small...

142. grateful for friends far & near...

143. grateful for precious, quiet moments with my family doing very ordinary things like relishing the taste of food, the sound of chords blended to perfection, the scents of spring air...

144. & grateful for a bit of gelato & a 20 minute nap on a lazy sunday afternoon.in the fourth watch of the night

i wake

while quiet stars linger

around last quarter moon,

undiluted recollections

rush in to fill the vacuum left

by easy sleep;

as they parade

before my internal eyes

i'm taken with the question

'is this really unexpected

in the lot that belongs to man?'

the things that i deem good

or otherwise...

so i take them all for what they're worth

wrapping them in soul's quilted embrace

of gentle gratitude.please visit one single impression for more wonderful poetry...thank you Jess from Wayfaring Wanderer for the prompt "one word."

lenten fast to easter feast...rejoice!!

2009-04-12T08:32:00.005-04:00

a very blessed Easter ~ buona Pasqua ~ to all!i very much look forward to visiting blogs i dearly love again now that my internet fast is complete. i have truly missed the beauty of your words, dear friends!this week's prompt for one single impression is offered by sue of sunflower roots...

living water

on high
a pierced cloud
rain coming down
to water the earth
not returning void
but gracing mountainside
rivulets of clarity
pouring forth
filling wells
quenching thirst
for all times
leading to the sea
tidal ebb & flo
washing the whole world
with life

spring cleaning

2009-04-05T15:49:00.009-04:00

yes, even the blogs! as my lenten internet fast & a favorite springtime activity of reorganizing/streamlining have progressed, i realized that with my blogging, less really is enough.for now, write away & snap366 will be snoozing while poetic elements & photographs will be found here, randomly interspersed. (phil did beg - pun intended! - to keep dog blog up & running though. i can't say "no" to that face...could you?!?!) since the end of 2008's daily photos, i must admit my camera sees less action. i do have mixed emotions about that, but i do continue to keep it close by for those amazing must-capture moments. as for writing, my classes have progressed to a level of reading/writing intensity that leaves very little spilling over in the way of creative stuff.one of my favorite weekly activities that i plan to continue is the poetry in response to one single impression. when possible, i will continue posting something in response to OSI's sunday prompts here. for 5 april, the prompt is 'listening' suggested by laurie @ april wine...a marvelous word, something i need to do more of.listening
'listen'
one of momma's favorite words
often followed by some advice i did not want
& sometimes, did not heed
i often wondered what you meant when you offered that word
& said nothing more
i did not worry about your intent
because days seemed numbered infinite
but when you lay dying my ears opened more each day
& suddenly i could not hear enough
of what you had to say
& then came the day
you would say no more
to me with words like as before
& still your command echoed in my head
'listen'
even as you had passed that word came on the wind
it's letters spelled in the ringing angelus bells
at sunset

like a lamb...

2009-03-31T19:54:00.005-04:00

& so march ends! in this post i had hoped it would be so & the last several days surely lend some credence to the old wives' tale...in like a lion; out like a lamb.morning coffee on the deck (light coat needed but brilliant sun was quick to warm) with a swirl of birdsong that included a very precious treat~~ a jenny wren calling from our neighbor's tree! these sweet little birds were a favorite of my daddy (his birthday was yesterday). every year he would be sure to have a jenny wren house in one of his trees. he took great joy in leisure time on his swing listening to this wren's beautiful song. they nest in the area of PA where i grew up, but they do not here in eastern NC. however we are graced with their migratory visits in the spring & fall. imagine my joy the first year we lived in our home when i heard this song on my daddy's birthday~~ a gift from him for me, it seemed.D.'s parents have been here since last week & his mom is doing so much better. they are enjoying an early spring (PA is still a bit behind in temps & blooms). & i am enjoying family time multiplied plus boyworld healthy & on spring break!...aaahhhh. you cannot imagine how grateful i am for this time right now...it has been a rough month in so many ways at our home...even the gentle end is tempered by sadness. my soul sister L.'s mom passed away last week & our friend D. remains in the hospital with some complications. it seems so strange some days to look at a brand new blossom emerge, to breathe its glorious scent~~ the beauty collides in my brain with the sadness. when they both settle into place, the hope of springtime wins.

this 'n that

2009-03-20T20:47:00.006-04:00

weather

spring & winter are currently battling it out in our area for domination (i hope spring wins...very soon!!). i take great comfort in today's equinox & the sun's return to my hemisphere (sorry, brad...you can have it back in 6 months!). this past week we have had high temperatures that are as unpredictable as a teenager's moods (sorry, boys!)...one day the high is 50F/10C, the next day it is 75F/24C.

therapy

when you get a text message at 10:30am on a thursday from your surfer-friend that reads "surf city pier in 30 minutes" if you can, you go...we could & we did!! & then we came home totally rejuvenated. best PE class evah!!internet fasting (as in no internet before 5pm during lent)...yeah, i've taken it in the solar plexus with this one. i have fallen into the cycle of using an entire pack of post-it notes each day to scribble all the online things i must accomplish after 5pm. then i find that at 5pm i am either running errands or preparing dinner, so the internet actual access is later. then i am tired. i can't read the day's post-it notes. & i start to fall asleep in front of my keyboard, telling myself i will take care of stuff tomorrow. all in all it has been a serious reorientation of time management coupled with an improvement in prioritizing. at lent's half way point i can honestly tell you that i miss the computer time more than i miss the chocolate!...but i will gladly enjoy both in due time :-)serendipity

mid week we were on our 5th or so day of constant cloud cover & it was one of the days that winter had an edge over spring for sure. at dusk it was windy but the rain had stopped & in my cabin fevered state, i grabbed my coat & headed out for a walk. as i rounded the bend of our street, through a clearing in the trees i could see the most incredible line of pink-orange sunset just along the horizon. the rest of the world retained its rainy-day grey, but against this, that sunset, no matter how tiny, was just amazing! & so worth bundling up & being cold.tonight

after a week of unbelievable busy-ness, i am posting this & then heading off to cuddle with D. & watch an italian flick. summer language classes are creeping up on me rather quickly & it is time to get back into my foreign film-watching groove...buon week-end a tutti!!!!

uh-huh!

2009-03-12T18:47:00.000-04:00

a theory i'm willing to test...

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601102&sid=awiA7Ck37baM&refer=ukbring on the intelligentsiathe lavazzathe illy& my newest love affair from costa rica...doka estate's peaberry!
join me in a cuppa (or 7), won't you?...

newsflash!

2009-03-10T17:04:00.000-04:00

big white dogs...& black wool clogs do not mix!!

revived...

2009-03-07T19:37:00.005-05:00

...that is, my sense of centeredness. D.'s momma is home, resting under the watchful eye of her doting husband. D. & i spent the better part of this fine spring day taming unruly parts of our yard & inhaling the glorious scent of purple hyacinth. Baby Girl made it safely to her vacation destination. Big Bro showed his momma the love last night by cooking dinner...spaghetti alfredo (is it impolite to lick my dish???). Little Man is finally up & about fully after an illness that was beginning to worry me.late in the afternoon today i sat in a sunbeam for a few moments of quiet, reading evening prayer. the 'rightness' of it all...the words i was reading, the thoughts that extended for those i hold dear, all the events of the past week (even the more trying events) weighed lightly in that still frame of life. it was as though the slightest of whisper reached my ear telling me all is well. it was a moment of sitting in the lap of God, a moment of freedom~ from care, from worry.it occured to me later this evening (actually just a bit ago), when i was past the hour of my internet lenten fast (no internet before 5pm), that i was already bearing some fruit from this sacrifice. this break was not just a token observance of lent...it was something i truly needed. into the void of my internet surfing time day in and day out, i have discovered spaces of quiet, spaces of rest. time to simply 'be'...& be filled. even before ash wednesday my thoughts were shifting to a more quiet way. now, they are downright peaceful.this internet fasting has been humbling too. thursday afternoon i commented to boyworld that i had not only accomplished all the week's minutia of work, but i had also tackled several long overdue projects too. without a pause they simultaneously reminded me that it was likely due to the fact that i was not "wasting time online!" uh huh. humbling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

giving way to gratitude...

129. the ordinary beauty of this day wrapped in 70F sunshine

130. the scent of purple hyacinth

131. D.'s momma's healing

132. tired muscles after a good day's work

133. a glass of cool, fresh water

134. sleeping with the window open again

135. boyworld's completion of their 3rd quarter of the school year yesterday!!

a lion for sure...

2009-03-02T18:49:00.002-05:00

march is definitely roaring here. Baby Girl & Little Man are on the mend but D.'s mom is now in the ICU...word is not complete from up north but it looks like she has pneumonia. please keep this dear woman who raised a magnificent son in your prayers this cold march night.

march forward...

2009-02-28T19:41:00.002-05:00

did you ever hear the old wives' tale about the month of march..."in like a lion, out like a lamb...in like a lamb, out like a lion?" i'm not sure about how much truth it contains, but i'm hoping it's correct this year. we are awaiting plummeting temperatures & *another* forecast of snow. but unfortunately our "weatherman" is out for the count. Little Man is in a feverish state. His big sister, home from college, has taken up a place on the other couch, also ill. (how grateful she is to be home rather than in a cold dorm room!) i'd say this qualifies for "in like a lion" at casa piacere!

one more thought, or two...

2009-02-24T12:38:00.005-05:00

if you observe lent, this post is most helpful. (thank you, minor friar!)

& please hold this dear blogger in your heart in her time of sorrow...

Requiem Æternam
Réquiem ætérnam dona eis,
Dómine,et lux perpétua lúceat eis.
Requiéscant in pace.
Amen

will i ever blog again??

2009-02-22T11:02:00.005-05:00

i am beginning to wonder...i am swimming in a sea of technology & reading & writing & keeping boyworld in line. in the middle of it all, i think about my blog but never at a moment when i might actually attend to it. i have spent countless hours spring cleaning over the last few weeks (even the attic!) & occasionally my thoughts have swirled with prayers (especially for philip, fr. reggie & our friend D.) & also with words to blog.the prayers continue heavenward, but the blog words are swept away in the dustpan. i've actually been feeling more word-quiet lately. less of my own thoughts...more paying attention to life without a need to dialogue with it. really, just many moments of simply being in the moment. last night i woke before the 4th watch with a poem dangling at the edge of my sleep, words that were accessible to me & so i wrote them down. (my poetry is here.) i fell immediately back to sleep...a deep, intensely satisfying sleep that is a joy from which to wake.my other focus in recent days is the beginning of lent this wednesday. in last year's post i noted the sacrifice of going without & the sacrifice of doing. i need both. in reflecting upon what keeps me from a life of holiness, i am being led to my "going without"...in those things that lead me to a life of holiness, i find my sacrifice of doing. my biggest temptation right now is the internet~blogging, facebook, reading a myriad others' writings. (believe me, that was brought to the surface during last weekend's retreat!) the "going without" part of my sacrifice is screamingly apparent!...& for that prompting i will take last year's Holy Week break plus no internet activity until after 5pm each day for the duration of lent. as for the "sacrifice of doing"...the boys & i are pooling our efforts (& those of our generous parish) to help melissa's efforts in romania. i am also reading this. & praying for the grace to continually ask myself: "is this what love looks like?"

because my mind is working in short bursts...

2009-02-17T07:33:00.005-05:00

~~why so quiet here? one word: facebook. for those who don't know, think 25 years of catching up with 30 or so people. 'nuff said.

~~also spent last weekend on retreat at mepkin abbey. no phones, TV's, computers...not a great cell signal. pure bliss for my over-active mind.

~~thanks for the language advice regarding last week's post. this week boyworld has adopted a new technique for dodging italian responses to my italian questions...responding in english that is heavily encased in a scottish brogue! (maybe the possum *should* be in control!)~~speaking of small animals...that prognosticator known as punxsutawny phil was wrong! spring is on its way. my daffodils said so! (all you yanks up north, take heart...it's coming!)~~prayers answered (thank you so much!)...fr. reggie is slowly healing. he has a long road to travel but he has also come a very long way!!

swimming...

2009-02-13T05:18:00.002-05:00

...in a sea of busy-ness, riding the wave on my crazy board!!& hoping to wash up on the shore of the blogworld next week with some words & photos & visits to y'all...

it's hard to keep a straight face when...

2009-02-05T19:57:00.005-05:00

...a certain student (i'm not naming names) translates this~~

"Si, posso incontarLa oggi."

to this~~

"Yes, the possum is in control today."

(for those nodding in confused agreement, the less interesting yet correct translation is "Yes, I am able to meet you today." looks like we need a bit of a vocabulary review tomorrow!)

the details...

2009-02-03T07:42:00.007-05:00

...are what make the day. i've been swimming in them, organizing life for 2009 throughout january. i must admit it felt good to turn the calendar page to a new month. now i feel firmly entrenched in the new year with some solid footing of details that have been cared for. yesterday was the feast of candlemas~ 40 days after christmas, the traditional conclusion of the feast of epiphany, & the midpoint of winter in the northern hemisphere. we pack away our nativity on that day & begin to look forward to spring's approach (honestly, i'm always looking for spring's approach, but knowing we are at winter's midpoint makes that thought a little more real :-) another tradition on this feast is the blessing of candles. sadly that is not something we find in this area, but i do remember to light candles on this feast.speaking of candles, if you are so inclined...i am begging some prayers (maybe a candle or two also!) for some friends in need.a very good friend of ours just had exploratory surgery & they found her very rare type of cancer has recurred. they immediately began her treatment. she is a wonderful wife & mom to 3, a loving daughter & friend to all. her heart is huge...please keep this special lady, her husband & her 3 children in your prayers! across the blogosphere there are several others who need prayers too...jp wrote about father reggie here.

philip also requests prayers...for his healing & for his pilgrimage.

& finally...a local musician whom we adore is in treatment for cancer too. (i will keep the links for all these wonderful folks in my sidebar under "light a candle.")after all these requests & the accompanying thoughts about the burdens these wonderful folks bear, it is with great joy i also share some good news...last fall renae posted this & over last weekend, she shared this heartwarming update! renae, i am pulling for your daddy everyday oh, yes, & a very happy birthday to you!!

shakespeare made interesting...

2009-02-01T09:49:00.001-05:00

boyworld is up to its neck in thee's & thou's, currently reading Richard III & Antony & Cleopatra. they tell me they've had it with all the saucy prating & so i have found something to spice up the literature lessons a bit...mr. coffee klatch (aka scott) offers a plethora of shakespearan insults guaranteed to keep boyworld light of heart in trying literary times. get thee to scott's site for some fresh humor...

fun stuff for a winter's day...

2009-01-29T07:02:00.002-05:00

over at michelle's place i found a fun meme, but before i lay it out there, i want you go to immediately to the 2009 bloggies website & vote for bleeding espresso under best european weblog. hurry...voting closes monday 2 february! (please, please, pretty please!! all of us from the coal region will be so grateful...local gal done good!~~ pardon, but my roots are showing ;-)

now, back to my current life in the south with a meme courtesy of michelle's bleeding espresso...

1. What are 5 things you were doing ten years ago?
*living in virginia & enjoying D.'s post-graduate school employment!!
*but getting ready for a springtime move back to south carolina (right, Mrs. T.??!?)
*working on my book
*dreading emails from my editor
*homeschooling 3 of my children who were in 5th, 4th & 1st grade...Little Man wasn't even doing kindergarten yet!!

2. What are 5 things on your to do list for today?
*grade boyworld's gi-normous school pile
*hit the books for my own writing assignment
*finish this blog post
*& my last cup of coffee!
*make this for dinner

3. What are your 5 favorite snacks?
*gelato!!!!
*dark chocolate
*coffee
*raspberries
*cheese
(pretty much in that order!)

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire? (i changed this from million to billion to reflect inflation!)

*travel on my current budget but randomly & anonymously help others out along the way
*buy this place, consult with JP on the rest!
*help melissa's effort much, much more!
*set up funds for several other causes that are very dear to my heart
*continue living my current life much as it is because i like it very much!

5. Where are 5 places you have lived?

*the "zoo" in central PA (teo & shep, if you are reading this, you *know* what i mean!!)
*charleston SC...sigh.
*in the mountains of virginia
*very close to luckyblueeyedgirl (aka Mrs. T.) in SC
*roma, italy with frequent vacations in coastal NC

(just kidding about that last one...maybe.)

i love reading these things on blogs, so if you do this one, please drop me a line! & remember to vote for michelle!!

the things you accomplish...

2009-01-28T08:48:00.003-05:00

...when your internet is down!!

let me tell you, my home management efficiency (& D.'s & the boys') went through the roof over the last week thanks to our internet service provider.

all the lawn care that has been neglected since the end of last summer~~ done! (our neighbors might just think new folks moved in!)

all, & i mean *all* the closets in the home~~ cleaned out!

my gi-normous stack of books~~ shrunk!

right after the snow event last week, our ability to get on the 'net everyday was impossibly slow or non-existent. at first i was peeved. then (after lengthy discussions with our provider's customer service) i turned off the computer & took a look around.

i think i just may have needed that break...very much.

lots of gratitude for...
125. the "schedule post" feature on blogger

126. warmer temperatures & a bit of sun

127. team boyworld helping around the house

& here's a bit of a treat for y'all...128. my favorite sunrise in january '09...

he said...she said: techie addition...

2009-01-25T07:15:00.000-05:00

last night D. had his laptop in bed (we were watching an old TV program online) when he lovingly looked over at me & said, "honey, you look good by computer light."

what a 21st century way to sweep a gal off her feet!

& of course, i responded with a "honey, you know i'm gonna blog that!"

winter wonderland

2009-01-21T17:23:00.005-05:00

i had forgotten...but somewhere hidden in the recesses...of my northern childhood memories...lay dreams of this evening...a landscape of hush...only the wingsweep of bird...& the crunch of snowpack under our feet...awestruck wonder of a world painted white...with marvelous chill to the bone...warmed by steaming mug & cozy nighttime retreat under layers of warm quilt...surrounded by drying winter-wear as snow spirals softly toward the still earth...waking in the fourth watch of the night to landscape of celestial moonlight lingering on snowfall...sweet season's offerings of pure delight.

freeze frame

2009-01-20T11:32:00.005-05:00

ok, so first it was this...cool!~~ no, not like the hip people mean it...it really was cool like "it's-15F-but-it-feels-like-5F" cool.

fastforward 4 days & remember that we southern-dwellers panic with a few flurries~~ this is today...this was mid-morning...& this is now, a mere one hour later...Little Man is on top of it (forecasted 3-6 inches, **inches* not flakes, people!)...my steel magnolia is enjoying her new winter-wear...& i am hoping phil does not get lost in the white-out!...more photos later~~ for now i am resuming my place by the fire under blankie with deep, eternal gratitude for...

123. electricity &

124. heat!

ordinary time

2009-01-18T13:21:00.001-05:00

he is in the bedroom...watching an old TV show, now viewable online

i am at my desk letting my mind have its way with words

the children are all out in the world~~ school, work, friends

the dogs are in a sunbeam...soaking life's wisdomthe house is quiet...just~ clock ticks, fire crackles & an occasional soft crescendo of music from his program

the kitchen is tidy between breakfast & lunch, dinner already a done deal, & merely a remnant of chores (grading some school work) is all that remainsthe tide is coming in

the birds~ right now, a bluejay~ frequent the feeder

when did time last stand still like this?all the could-should-would's have quieted in my oft-too-busy mind

sweet weekend moment of ordinary time

thoughts from the hearth...

2009-01-16T07:14:00.008-05:00

this morning we had the pleasure of 19F at sunrise (don't tell me what this is in celsius because negative numbers as temperatures scare me!).(that is our birdbath with frozen water!)

you should have seen the speed at which hound patrol performed their duties on that frosty grass! me...i felt sorry for my poor birds flitting around the empty feeder which is thankfully right outside the back door, & so i too had the joy of that arctic air. & just like hound patrol, i moved quickly to give our visitors a treat under threat of freezing in place...in a flash i was back by the fire with coffee in hand! for those of you who are laughing at 19F & would consider this a heatwave, please remember that this is oh-so-not-normal for the southern coast of NC. y'all have my deepest sympathies if this cold is remotely normal for you!

one thing i very much like about winter is the semi-hibernation mode it induces in me. i am perfectly content in layers of flannel & wool, wrapped in my blankie, staring into the flames in our hearth, watching the birds eat breakfast...i would not want this semi-hiberation to be everyday, all the time...but it is for a season & i am enjoying it as it comes.

it is a time of clearing mental cobwebs...& yes, reflecting on resolutions (it's still january & i'm running with it!). over these past 2 weeks i've had some big nudges beyond the typical "clean your closets organization" (yes, jen, i'm stuck on that thought too!) & "check your eating/exercising habits" resolutions.

last week, less than a month after we were there, costa rica experienced an earthquake with the epicenter at one of the places we visited & the mudslides at near another. yesterday, there was a plane crash on the airline we are most likely to fly on a route very likely for us (thank God, all were safe!).

those things make you think. a lot.

what if?

there, but for the grace of God, go i. (D. reminds me of this often.)

a number of years ago i read the rule of st. benedict & one thought that stuck in a deep place was his rule (chapter IV) "to keep death daily before one's eyes."this thought seemed hard to bear as i was firmly entrenched in the world of newborns & small children, but it was like a dog with a bone in my soul. my mind would not let go...this idea would not be silenced because it speaks volumes about how to live.

it is hard to do...we want to forget about death, but it puts things in perspective.

i waste a lot of time.

what if i die this morning, this evening, tonight?

how have i lived this day, this week, last year?

in the face of death, is what i normally do important? will i regret it, am i ashamed of it?

for me, it starts with love...do i love God with all that i am? do i love my neighbor as myself?with death right before my eyes, what does this love look like?

first morning time in quiet solitude, just God & me...with me~~ listening.

niches of solitude during the day...listening.

people before things, always. a soft answer when needed, but again, mostly listening.

& most especially, loving my "enemies."

in my mind "enemy" is a harsh word. i think of war & the threat of death when i hear this word. i do not live in a war zone nor do i know of one who has verbalized a wish for my death. my "enemies" are more like those who have said unkind words about me, who have excluded me. do i love them? do i pray for their blessings?

death is the great equalizer.

we all pass over. none of us knows to what.

the thought of that togetherness in this of humanity abates my anger at my "enemies"...it opens a way for my empathy for them &, most importantly, my forgiveness & love for them. my job is not to worry about my "enemy's" reaction to me or to ruminate over wrongs done to me, but it is simply to love them. geesh, how many times a day to i inadvertently - or sadly, intentionally - wrong another? of course, i want forgiveness...just like everyone else.

if i die today, this week, this month, this year...i want to leave love as my legacy.

& so my new year's resolution comes down to something like this...asking myself a million times throughout each day of '09 "is this what love looks like?"

i also think i will re-read st. benedict's rule.

(for the record...yes, i would get on a plane today & yes, i would return to costa rica!)

& finally, something D. & i have embraced for years...in '09 i will continue to celebrate life daily!!

i keep forgetting...

2009-01-11T02:09:00.001-05:00

...to post a link to snap366. i completed the leap year in photos - one photo taken everyday*, sometimes posted on a later day due to sketchy computer access & streaks of laziness!! what fun i had & how much i learned!! the biggest lesson was appreciating how to really see things. the most mundane objects & circumstances presented such fabulous moments of beauty when i least expected it.

(*one disclaimer...it was actually more like snap363, because i had a few jetlag moments when i missed entire days with my faithful camera ;-)

what's on tap for 2009 at snap366?...for the month of january i am posting photos from my archives of italia!! after then, who knows...

any suggestions?

word on the bay has it...

2009-01-08T13:51:00.005-05:00

...that my good buddy *finally* has a blog!! get thee to liza's lil' piece of the blogosphere & give her a hearty welcome!

here's to your new adventure...

but, seriously...

2009-01-06T01:16:00.001-05:00

now that we are home & settled (?...not quite sure about the "settled" part, but i do have a list to accomplish "settled"!!), it is time to ease into the reality of a fresh, new year~~ a clean slate of calendar days...

my last post, the end of year meme, was lighthearted & fun to do, but the end of a year always leads me to something deeper & more reflective...lessons learned & gratitude savored. where have i been, where am i going, am i counting it all joy??

2008 taught me some important lessons...

*i've learned to trust deeply in prayer everyday
*i need much more time in solitude than ever before

*when someone asks for prayer, there is a deep joy in holding that person's intention in prayer

*i used to say "yes" when someone asked for prayers...& then i would forget the request until i saw that person again or give the request cursory time (feeling bad when the memory resurfaced)

*now my "yes" is a solid committment & in this, my cup overfloweth every single day...love really does grow out of this effort

*things usually unfold in baby steps, often after long periods of God's answer being "wait"
*but occasionally there is a big sign!!
*i have always trusted God with the "big"things, but i have had trouble believing He cares about my small stuff
*my conscious efforts to let Him handle the small things this year has yielded BIG, magnificent results!! (& He very much cares about the small stuff!!)
*serendipity is usually better than the best laid plans~ especially in travel

*distance can be hard but we are still close...in spite of oceans & continents in between

*we are more alike than we are different
*everyone holds something deep inside that is painful
*love is always the answer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my deepest gratitude for...
118. answers to long-prayed prayers, especially a recent biggie that has been in the "wait" mode since the mid-90's (& for God's patience with me when i was not so very patient with His "wait")

119. ann's original post for 1000 gifts & her daily blog post reminders to live continuously in a state of gratitude

120. for the gifts of frequent travel in '08 that included...time with friends old & new, new insights into old ideas, new pathways of possibility, a firming up of my committment to simplicity in my life, an understanding of how to let go of what doesn't matter & how to keep what does matter, & keen insight into God's timing & plans for me!!

121. for the gift of beginning Advent & the new Liturgical year in such a profoundly spiritual manner & place...a dream long held, fulfilled.

122. & for the gift of beginning 2009 with family & dear friends!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a resolution or two for '09...

to continue the 1000 gifts on the blog & to keep gratitude as my first waking thought

to give '09 some careful consideration in the quiet days ahead (this week boyworld still on partial school break) & see what needs my mindfulness...

until the next time...felice anno nuovo a tutti!!!

what to do, what to do???

2008-12-31T11:32:00.004-05:00

$19 airfare from nearby city to a soul sister's crib...holiday vacation from work & school...what would you do??

i know what we did...& this lovely morning on the lake, someone caught me a delicious bass...
happy new year, one & all!!!!!

end of year meme...

2008-12-29T03:00:00.000-05:00

thanks, michelle!! this sounds like a terrific way to say goodbye to a fabulous year before i embrace the new one. here goes...

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? take italian classes in italy!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? yes i did & yes i will! (that is a whole other post!!)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die? quite a few acquaintances, a friend from years back, a very favorite high school teacher, & a dear neighbor.

5. What countries did you visit? italy, haiti, jamaica, grand caymen, italy, italy again, & costa rica!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? i am having trouble finding something i lacked in 2008...seriously.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? the week of the girlfriend gaggle...:-) a week with my best girlfriends needs no answer to "why"!!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? getting laundry done between travel excursions.

9. What was your biggest failure? grumbling about little things that don't matter...things usually forgotten the very next hour, day, week.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? thank God, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought? plane tickets!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? D.'s patience with all my travel, most of which did not include him.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? anyone who was mean to children or animals & anyone who lied.

14. Where did most of your money go? plane tickets again!! (fuel for our autos came in a very close 2nd!)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? holding entire conversations in italian & actually understanding & being understood.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? leona lewis's bleeding love that was sung by every single person (y'all know who you are!!!!) at the top of their lungs in our suburban on the way to the beach at midnight to see noctiluca ...although after 6 months of text messages, the gaggle of girlfriends just *might* have a differing opinion about that one! & no, i cannot post the song you are thinking about L., J. & Mrs. T.!!!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer? (a) happier all the time! (b) the very same (c) richer in love for sure!!!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? slept on the transatlantic flights!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? slept while at my travel destinations.

20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas eve Mass with the family, gift exchanging Christmas morn, a bit o' surfing at the beach, & way too much indulging in brunch, dinner & baked goodies followed by a power nap that seemed to stretch right into bedtime!

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? over & over again, every single day.

22. What was your favorite TV program? the office (US version, though i also enjoyed a BBC episode or two)...bears, beets, battlestar galactica for all you fans out there!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? awww, don't be hatin'

24. What was the best book you read? quo vadis

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? how to download songs from iTunes onto my iPod!!

26. What did you want and get? at the risk of sounding like a broken record...travel!!!

27. What did you want and not get? not a thing...

28. What was your favorite film of this year? into the wild (though it came out in 2007, i did not see it until this year)

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i turned 42 & the day involved fabulous company, an awesome meal, a great wine, coffee, & chocolate!!!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? my year was immeasurably satisfying as it was...

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? whatever fits into my backpack & looks good at my destination!

32. What kept you sane? my soul sisters!!!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? johnny depp (get in line girls!!!) with a bit of edwin on the side!

34. What political issue stirred you the most? piacere doesn't do politics online!

35. Who did you miss? the soul sisters & my parents

36. Who was the best new person you met? all my blog buddies (+ chef christopher) i was blessed to meet in person!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. let go & let God.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "the moment i let go of it was the moment i got more than i could handle; the moment i jumped off of it was the moment i touched down." thank u by alanis morissette

that's all for me, folks! if you do this meme, please drop me a line so that i may enjoy your answers. ciao for now...

joy to the world...

2008-12-25T13:53:00.004-05:00

may you & yours have a very blessed Christmas...may the light of this day illumine your path, wherever it may lead...
image source: giotto's nativity (grazie!)

a gift...

2008-12-23T07:14:00.004-05:00

when you are working at your computer in the morning quiet & God taps you on the shoulder, *this* is why you must stop what you are doing, turn around & take delight...

comfort & joy...

2008-12-21T15:41:00.006-05:00

first the comfort...

these words keep floating through my thoughts today~~ they are the words i chose for one of the readings for both my parents' funeral Masses. i know i have posted them several times on the blog before this, & today as i remember josiah, they remain a true solace:

"the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall thouch them. they seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us utter destruction. but they are in peace...as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself. in the time of their visitation they shall shine, and shall dart about as sparks through stubble... those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with in him in love; because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with his elect." (Wisdom 3:1-3, 6-9)

& the joy...

words~~ electronically & hand written...across many miles, even oceans...words that tie us, that bind our hearts...i re-read them & i feel such a joy & a peace...

hands working together...D.'s parents arrived friday night, escaping the great cold & snow of the northeast! their first order of business~~ a flurry of activity in my kitchen, filling our home (& refrigerator) to overflowing with good eats, enabling D. & i to engage in some serious Christmas preparation catch-up! we spent the day driving (ever-so-slowly) from place to place singing carols in the car & chatting with all kinds of friendly folks in the same Christmas-prep boat as us. we finally made it to the UPS store, arms ladened with treasures to send far & wide with some time to spare. oh, what a delight to arrive home to find a delicious meal, compliments of my dear in-laws, & the lights strung on our tree, compliments of our sweet babies...today, it's baking, baking & more baking!! tonight, we decorate our tree & follow with some relaxing & games by Christmas lights & candles. in spite of how i love to travel, there's no place like the comfort of home & the joy of family!

a heavy heart...

2008-12-20T09:13:00.006-05:00

late last night josiah went Home.

please keep this dear family in your prayers over these very sad days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

his dad posted this beautiful reminder on josiah's carepage...

"I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning … to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

or that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars … the house … the cash.

What matters is how we live and love … and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real …

And always try to understand the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives … like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile …

Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while."

The Dash by Linda Ellis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

may all of you cherish every moment with those you love...

Requiem Æternam

Réquiem ætérnam dona eis,

Dómine,et lux perpétua lúceat eis.

Requiéscant in pace.

Amen

a plea for prayers...

2008-12-17T08:53:00.004-05:00

...for a dear family & a dear boy...many of you know that i have requested prayers for josiah from time to time & he has been in my sidebar under the "light a candle" request since january. in last night's carepages entry his momma let us know that josiah's treatment for his cancer has not worked & he will go into hospice care on monday. please keep josiah, his momma, his dad, & his siblings in your hearts over the coming weeks...thank you all so much.

crossing off items on his list...

2008-12-16T14:21:00.008-05:00

well, costa rica was good to Little Man (& his momma & sister too!). not only did he cross off the "to see" items on his list from last week, he was even able to check off his add-on's! what else did he want to experience?

4. toucans

5. & swimming in the pacific

but first, back to the original list...

#1. sloths were a very big deal on this journey. we saw 3 of them, all in the wild & both the 2 toed & 3 toed varieties, one quite close up!this guy lived up to his name as he literally creeped across that wire, making for a wonderful photo shoot & some dangerous traffic conditions on a curvy mountain road...#2. howler monkeys...would you believe we had more howler monkey action in the roma zoo last july than in the costa rican rainforest? but we did see (but sadly, did not hear!) one lonely guy in all his glory in manuel antonio national park...#3. a volcano...poas to be precise...after a walk through an enchanted cloud forest, we saw...

more clouds!

but for one very fleeting moment we could see the crater. you will have to take my word for it~ this is a view into the volcano...in spite of the dense cloud cover there is nothing quite like standing at the edge of something that immense with the wind howling & clouds rushing over you. eruptions?...no, thank you very much! (but our guide did park with the car facing the entrance for fast escapes...)

#4. toucans...not in the wild on this trip, but we did see 2 different types at la paz waterfall gardens. one guy was quite open to photo ops...very much the ham even though we had interrupted his napping attempt!...#5. the pacific ocean...after a hike through manuel antonio's rainforest, we spent a most appreciated afternoon swimming in this secluded cove& sunning (napping) on the beach with a friend...a little exploring for good measure...& finally, a spectacular sunset...my list??...it really did parallel Little Man's quite nicely! throw in a hike in the rainforest along waterfalls...with guide who spoke italian quite nicely & i am one happy girl!

we returned last night with a heartful of wonderful memories & bags full of coffees...(yes, at one point we were surrounded by coffee...i wish i could post the smells!!), but the best thing we brought home from costa rica...Baby Girl!!!...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

places we stayed on this trip...hotel mar y luna in quepos...room with 3 beds & a private bath (but cold showers!) that was a real budget friendly experience...

& hostel pangea in san jose...this was a really hip establishment with a rooftop restaurant, free internet & a pool (+ a hot shower one night!)...Baby Girl truly knows how to plan travel...she handled all our lodging, food & travel within costa rica, all on a sweet dime!

a telling list...

2008-12-10T07:40:00.001-05:00

Baby Girl wanted to know what her "baby" brother (aka Little Man) wanted to see when we get to costa rica. his list...

1. sloths
2. howler monkeys
3. a volcano

sounds like boyworld's ultimate science experience to me!

me? i'm just hoping to not confuse my italiano e spagnolo too much!

home from rome

2008-12-08T09:34:00.012-05:00

a week sure does fly by...in the blink of an eye it seems we are back on US soil, home since the wee hours of yesterday morning. what a trip we had! it was a glorious first week of Advent that left not a fraction of a second for blogging. we were too busy living every moment to its fullest! & being followed by rainbows every step of the way it seemed. first there was our "welcome rainbow" at the airport. a few days later there were rainbows at sunset the entire train ride from firenze to roma~ too many to recall (& me with dead camera batteries & the spares still waiting in roma). & another day, this time with a working camera, we saw this beauty from our taxi...when we last left you at the internet cafe, a whole day of roman roaming stretched out before us before the evening's Mass. Little Man & i did the logical things like enjoy an espresso...eat more gelato (come to momma, you sweet little thang!)...drool all over the bakery windows...inhale deeply of the smells of the season...stumble around undiscovered corners that spill beauty...& even occasionally take a rest...before attending the Solemn Pontifical Mass...sung by Cardinal Hoyos at Santa Maria degli Angeli e dei Martiri...one of our friends was a server for this Mass...& another who is also a "blog buddy" was an official photographer (see his 1 december post for more details). should you ever have a question about Catholic roma, jp is your guy!monday found us on a train for firenze...one of my very favorite parts of this trip was seeing all the Christmas festivity...& enjoying the early dusk & all the magical lights...there were open-air markets everywhere, filled with delights to charm the child in everyone!...our favorite meal on this trip (not counting gelato) was hands-down chef chris' homemade spaghetti...jp & chris graciously hosted us for a wonderful evening in santa marinella...the next morning came very early, as we made our way to citta' del vaticano for a papal audience. we arrived in a fog (not necessarily from the late night before!) for a wait that was well worth it...big props to whomever can guess what is missing from this photo...we were very blessed to be indoors & close to il Papa...(karina, this is for you) yes, those are the pope's shoes!...after the audience, it was on the train again, this time bound for pisa! now, everyone assumes pisa is all about the tower...but for us on this trip it was all about blog buddies & science too! we had the pleasure of seeing claudia again & meeting andrea for a tour of his gravitational wave experiment. Little Man was in his element. can you believe that none of us had our cameras?!? after a lovely day Little Man lived one of his life's goals...climbing the leaning tower of pisa! let me tell you, as you are climbing those steps, you know you are off balance! no matter, because the view from the top (at dusk no less) is so worth it!!...our last day in roma found us saying goodbye to friends over a wonderful dinner at our (second) favorite ristorante~ il gabriello, but not before making a last passaggio to some favorite places that included santa rita da cascia alle vergini which has the most beautiful grotto for prayer...& la basilica di sant' agostino with a stop at the altar of santa monica. we stumbled in drenched from a downpour just in time for Adoration, the rosary, Benediction & Mass!

now we are home, but the backpack still stands ready...it has been changed out for a change in latitude~ in the early morn thursday we depart for the more tropical climate of costa rica & some time with Baby Girl!!!

arriviamo a roma!

2008-11-30T05:02:00.005-05:00

how sweet it is...after sleeping almost the *entire* flight & waking to a sunrise over the french alps...landing at fiumicino to a rainbow (no photo ops for that one...all baggage in the overhead bin & seatbelt securely fastened, you know!), we are settled into the bel paese...happily enjoying that first cappuccino!...ambling around those familiar places we love...attending the first vespers of Advent with Pope Benedict at the Vatican...& capping the evening at a lovely dinner at la pace del palato with some dear friends...today we are in exploration mode until Mass for the first Sunday of Advent with Cardinal Hoyos & dinner with jp & friends.

excused absences...

2008-11-24T15:45:00.003-05:00

do you think my italian instructor will buy it if i call off due to travel in italia?? i hope so...because i'm thinking a week in italia trumps 2 classes in the US for sure! Little Man & i are off to the eternal city (& then some) after Thankgiving in PA with our extended family.

alas, Baby Girl is still in the rainforest for this holiday - hanging out, not with turkeys but with toucans (her research project)! she is home in less than a month & you know i cannot wait to see her!!

blogging might be a bit light until after friday (& pending my ability to find the internet POS in roma). may all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving this week have a wonderful holiday counting your blessings...

last

2008-11-23T17:06:00.003-05:00

i did not mean for this past week to be a rambling discourse of sadness; it started out as a simple answer to a simple question. in trying to make sense of my thoughts & to explain them more clearly, i kept hearing the advice of Brad, our funeral director...

"lean into your grief."

he did not tell me what my grief would/should look like, but he did gently tell me not to fight it.

we are reassured that we are blessed when we mourn. i became fascinated with this whole idea as i passed through the dark valley. this was not an easy path but it offered a gentleness i could not have imagined.

my words simply tell of my own "leaning into it."

i cannot imagine what it would be for another. but in it, i know we are not alone.

ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall thouch them. they seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us utter destruction. but they are in peace...as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself. in the time of their visitation they shall shine, and shall dart about as sparks through stubble... those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with in him in love; because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with his elect." (Wisdom 3:1-3, 6-9)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Requiem ÆternamRéquiem ætérnam dona eis,
Dómine,et lux perpétua lúceat eis.
Requiéscant in pace.
Amen

hush

2008-11-22T05:36:00.004-05:00

when the stillness of winter seeps into the world, the wings of one in flight may be heard in a breathless rhythm of time...the quietest breeze of the sleeping world stirs, releasing whispers of what was & what might be...nightfall is early but the wick easily lights to a softer hue of seeing...& the starlight draws a pattern on the midnight blue sky through clarity of air~~ an air so startling in its middle-of-the-night beauty that you know it is a gift to stand in it, to look up & to see the light come from so far, from so many places.

hey! who moved the equator??

2008-11-21T10:31:00.003-05:00

i'm beginning to think we've slipped a few degrees latitudinally here in eastern NC as we brace for our 2nd onslaught of snow in 3 days. (in our neck of the woods, any snow~ even one flake~ in november is an onslaught!) Little Man informs me that we could expect to see a dusting on the grass later today & low temperatures tonight of 24F/-4C (almost 20F below our typical november lows!) with wind chills around 14F/-10C. right now we have leaden sky with a stiff wind from the north...& a fire in the hearth!! if nothing else, this weather sure does ignite a bit of the holiday spirit!

in a few weeks Little Man & i are off to see Baby Girl in costa rica where i fully expect to find our misplaced weather & pack it in my bag for the return trip!

drop of joy

2008-11-20T16:00:00.003-05:00

finally home after more than a month-long absence, i woke that first morning to a double rainbow over the marshland that shouted "love never dies."

very few things have ever given me comfort like that.

the glorious sign marked a shift in my grief...my numbness started to drip away. i could breathe a bit deeper. i could pray a bit more than my oft-uttered "please help me." & most hopeful to me, i could feel momma around me.

before that day i had spent nearly 3 weeks obsessing with "where" momma & daddy went. my mind could recite the catechism's answer but my heart could not understand it.

looking at that rainbow i knew i had been asking the wrong question. & i also knew that in this lifetime i would never be able to wrap my head around answers to questions like that.

it just wasn't important anymore.

one thing

2008-11-19T15:31:00.002-05:00

in the heavy-hearted task of cleaning my parents' place i was able to find long stretches of mind-numbing labor punctuated with moments when time stood still & i comtemplated pieces of trivia & ordinariness that weave the fabric of life with strong threads, often unnoticed until their absences.

fragments of my childhood - an old spatula, a favorite drinking glass - provided tangible occasions of memory. i found myself holding tightly to things meant for other places...but in my hand, as though they were glued fast. to let go seemed to let go of momma & daddy all over again.

i had no real need for most of what i sorted...others did & so they would receive. hard as it was, i had to be pragmatic in the process - i could not dwell for long in the world of memory, for the distance to my home & the circumstances of their estate warranted it. these practical matters became the crutch of my functioning in those days...

3 piles for 3 different charities

pick up--sort--clean--move on
pick up--sort--clean--move on...

until the washcloth.

hanging alone on the bathroom towel rack was a solitary white washcloth...the one momma had used to wash her face in her last moments at home before we left for the doctor, for the hospital, for the funeral home.

a simple white square cloth became my undoing that day...i was done. needed a break. needed a darn good cry.

rational or not - i didn't care - i tucked it in my purse & it stayed there until i returned to my home a week later.

i have never washed it.
it still resides in my closet.
& it contains many tears.

solace

2008-11-18T17:51:00.005-05:00

no, this is not our typical southern weather by any stretch...snow squalls blowing across the bay gave us a moment of white out today!Little Man was so excited to finally be able to call our northern family members & give this weather report...look closely now...yep, total accumulation = 18 flakes per square foot! time for some hot chocolate by the fire... (northern dwellers are forbidden to laugh at this post! ;-)

again

2008-11-17T16:36:00.002-05:00

i had 3 more days by momma's side.

on the 4th i would not make it in time. she even warned me. i'm so glad i was listening.

it is not fun to watch someone struggle for every breath. you find yourself breathing for her, but she does not improve & you become exhausted. so much so that you might even press your head against the metal bedrail just to feel something solid & real, something to carry your weight for a moment.

when someone tells you she is dying, she is. it's that simple. you've no room for doubt in your mind or in your time. momma told me she was dying in the same tone that she would have told me her best friend was coming to dinner or she needed to pay the phone bill...like it was on her "to do" list.

she died while i was attending to her broken furnace, surrounded by the chaos of a move & remnants of my childhood. the house was colder than the outside november air. my cell phone had no service. we were hours late leaving for the hospital on this errand she had requested, waiting for the service person, fearing pipes would freeze.

i opened the car door in the hospital parking garage to the sound of the 5pm angelus bells.

twilight again.

when they chimed their 5 rings of the hour, i told myself she was gone. i could feel the yet unfamiliar flutter of her soul nearby. every cell in my being knew her weighty absence & had yet to learn her new airy presence.

i turned through the familiar corridors with a purpose. stepping from the elevator, i was greeted with that look that i had once delivered to patients' families. no words could ever suffice.

arms all around me & finally i was alone with momma.

i did not find this unbelievable.

i combed her messy hair.

i found the spot where her skin was still warm (her mid shoulder area which my children still call the place of angel wings & i remembered this dearness)...& i held on for a very long time.

i lifted one eyelid to see her pretty green iris one last time but recoiled at the vacant stare returned to me.

i told her things i thought she should know.

i don't remember if i kissed her goodbye.

i called Brad & asked, "remember what we did for daddy's funeral 4 days ago?" he did. i replied, "please come get momma & do every bit the same in 3 more days."

& then i left the hospital for the last time.

tangible

2008-11-16T17:28:00.003-05:00

what i remember...

he was gone a full week before i could see him, a week consumed with momma's dying too. she still drew a labored breath & held onto my hand~ she needed me. he was already gone from this place~ seeing him really meant seeing the shell of the man i needed to see.

i had to choose.
it was a very long week.

momma was in surgery when daddy's funeral began. she was out of my grasp for those few hours~ beyond my words of comfort in a place i hoped would relieve her longing heart for a moment & ailing body for a very long time.

finally, my time to say goodbye to him.

i kept touching his soft, wispy hair & his fingernails...they felt like him. i knew better than to try & find comfort in the feel of his skin. i had been around too many dead by then...i remembered the disturbing feel & i stuck to what carried his memory for me, not wishing to shatter it with something morbid.

life & death do not feel the same & i could only cope with one of them at the moment.

~solid ground~

from the funeral home to the church...Brad, our friend & unfortunate funeral director (imagine that occupation in a small town) asked me if i wished to cover daddy's remains & close the coffin lid.

i could not begin to imagine doing that.

he patted my shoulder to let me know that my way was okay & then he removed daddy's wedding ring. i had never seen his hand without it. i placed it on my finger, in my heart intending it for momma but in my head knowing she would soon have no use for it.

i walked outside to breathe. i could not listen to Brad directing his staff. i could not watch them prepare daddy for his funeral Mass. i could not believe i was following a hearse to my childhood church.

i could not pray.
i could not speak.

Father F. had the choir sing & their music is all i remember...that & the cold coffin resting beside me. i put my hand on it to steady my every move.

by the time we reached the cemetery, momma was out of surgery. the nurse called my cell phone as i followed the pallbearers to daddy's gravesite. she wasn't doing so well...rather than being in the hospital, i think her heart was right there beside me & that made her post-surgical recovery that much more strenuous. surely her time under anesthesia was a relief from her newfound burden of widowhood; waking was not just waking to a medical recovery, it was also waking to a broken heart.

her presence with me was a keen as her absence.

another twilight...an ending of a day...& of a life. i know at that moment i would have preferred to leap into the light that hovers between day & night...clinging to the last notes of taps, letting them carry me far above the pain that had been & that was to come. the last note floated through the valley & in its wake was a silence that consumed me. i held my breath until the dry leaves rustled in a stray breeze.

in another moment we were driving away~ into twilight's last hurrah, heading again for the hospital.

thoughts on grief...

2008-11-15T16:35:00.004-05:00

(this may take a few days)

you asked an honest question~~ my pained reply...

this is why i cannot breathe the air of my childhood...right now. it is filled with sobs i never let escape. to draw them back into my lungs now is to suffocate.

the light of november is forever slanted in a western twilight that hurts my waking eyes, shining in all the wrong crevices of memory, peeking through the curtain in the funeral home at the opposite time of day, confusing my sense of balance.

~starlight~
daddy died at sunset.

we were driving through richmond, homeward bound, when the call came...only half-way there. the rest of the journey was simply~ dark. my only solid memory of that night was sitting at momma's feet while she rubbed my arm. the conversations flowed over my head, words swirling to high for my sorrowful mind to reach. my only thought was how incredibly soft momma's hand felt.

i woke the next morning from a deep, bottomless (unexpected) sleep into a strange new world. suddenly i could no longer stand the thought of abiding in pure dark, something i once thought magical. i clung to the light that day in all its forms...the flashlight searching over the car's engine for clues to the problem, the sun's reflection dancing absurdly across the river ripples, the ambulance's red flashes as it pulled into traffic, the thin, waxing moon at dusk...even the many monitors that surrounded momma that evening in the emergency room.

she would have lights about her all night. i felt comfort in that.

late to our lodging after the nurses' reassurances, my pure exhaustion granted me reprieve from the morning's vibrant new fear. later...in the deep dark of night after moonset, someone turned off the last light...

i bolted upright, gasping for air.

it seemed a nightlight would be required. my return to sleep was a wary affair fraught with moments of clawing my way back to consciousness...each time was a renewal of the slide show of the previous 36 hours of my life in various speeds of discontent which would not be stopped.

a 4:30 am waking was different...it was filled with hugs & kisses & my excited childrens' voices~ "momma, momma, come see!" they wrapped me in my coat & bundled my scarf around my neck as they told me of the wonder grandpa had sent to us straight from heaven.

looking up into the cold, clear sky stars were falling like rain...so many that i had exhausted every wish i ever had in a minute or two.

some of them have come true.

foreign language help...

2008-11-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

if i write my italian lessons with a "fluent" pen, maybe i will be too! (ok, so i'm an optimist...)

memo to Baby Girl...

2008-11-11T08:20:00.004-05:00

somebody misses you! actually quite a few somebodies...& here are 2 of 'em...

mosaic...

2008-11-07T02:26:00.003-05:00

all the little pieces fit together& from a distance we begin to see the picture come into focus.sally recently tagged me to lay out some pieces of tile, so to speak...The rules are that I should give six details about myself, link back to the original site(s) and tag six more people.

i've already done this here & here.

for a little twist on the prompt...keeping it fresh this time around, i offer 6 details about myself specific to blogging...

1. i go here for laughs. this guy totally cracks me up! a few weeks ago i stumbled upon his blog from a link on another blog (isn't that the way of the blog world??!!?) & i spent *hours* laughing out loud. i think that may have been considered therapy! his most recent post to keep me in stitches was this one. i believe i might use an idea or two for next hallowe'en from it.

2. i go here for beauty. i cannot read one single word he writes. i am not even sure what language it is, but no matter...the photos are enough. ironically, i believe i found him through the very same blog mentioned in #1.

3. i'm feeling badly that my blogging of 1000 gifts has been quite lax lately. but as i consider this, i realize that i have been busy *living* my gifts...so that's good enough for me!

4. i am loving this opportunity to live vicariously through all your blogs!!!! i get fall foliage on demand, winter snows, bits of italia that make my heart beat faster, recipes to try nella mia cucina, poetry that inspires, travel journals of places i hope to see, stories that move my heart, words that make me cry~ sad or happy tears...you get the idea!

5. and #4 brings me to this thought...i really would love to meet all the wonderful authors of the blogs i regularly read. i'm thinking world blog tour! just ask spf & claudia & jp how much fun it can be when kindred blogging spirits get together.

6. there are scraps of paper all. over. the. place. with blog post ideas...on my desk, in my purse, in my pockets, on the grocery list, in my car... my fondest hope is that i will be able to read the scribblings when i need them (or at least not launder them into oblivion). blogging has led to a cascade of writing for me. i used to want to write. occasionally i made time to write (usually for a class). but being faithful to a blog has unleashed a torrent of words & i quite enjoy it. most of the words comes out in the form of poetry or short essays that i'm not sure i'll ever blog but i enjoy writing them anyway.

so that's my latest installation of random details about my life...a few more tiles in the mosaic. i know who i *want* to tag, but i won't. tag among yourselves. please let me know if you do this because i think it is an awesome way to get to know one another better.

trade-offs

2008-11-04T09:10:00.003-05:00

i think we brought something home from chicago, something more than sweet memories & great coffee...though i don't remember searching for it, buying it, packing it, or stowing it in the overhead compartment. but nonetheless cold weather came home with us! i'm talking mid-january type weather. brrrrrrrrrrrrr...& that abruptly reminded me of the top 5 things i will miss with the passing of the season...

1. morning coffee on the deck. i know i can still drink my coffee out there when the temperature is 30F/-1C degrees, but the coffee gets cold waaaay too quickly. & really, dressing up like i am competing in the iditarod is not much fun either.

2. going to sleep with the windows wide open, enjoying the sounds of the night bugs. let's just say, our 'window of opportunity' will remain closed when we dip below a nighttime low temperature of 45F/7C degrees ;-)

3. waking at 3 am to the sound of a mockingbird serenading the moon. i just don't hear him in the fall or winter...maybe he's not impressed with the cold either.4. packing only summer clothes for travel. summer clothing=lighter weight=more options. winter packing in the backpack is a true challenge. jeans & heavy sweaters...hmmmm... you do the math.

5. daylight filling the sky in the early morning hours. it is easier to open the eyes at 6 am when it's light outside!

but that got me to thinking...season change is not all gloom & doom. to be fair, i reminded myself of some things that bring comfort with the lengthening dark~ my top 5 consolations that come with the colder weather...

1. coming in from the cold morning air after hound patrol's first morning jaunt & wrapping my chilled hands around a steaming cup of coffee2. going to sleep snuggled under a down blanket

3. waking in the middle of the night to a crystal clear winter sky filled with stars. sometimes i slip out onto the deck & cannot believe the beauty spreading above me. & the still silence of a winter night is breathtaking.4. wool socks, cozy scarves, warm sweaters & soft mittens!

5. longer evening hours of dark are perfect for lighting candles & a fire in the hearth or in the fire ring outside.what are your cold-weather consolations?

boo!

2008-11-03T01:06:00.001-05:00

did you see the moon slung low on the horizon at twilight?...did you brave the night filled with pirates & ghosties & fairies & cowboys?...did you walk the path lit with surprise?...did you let a smile fill you with silly delight?...did you dare to enjoy a bit of the spooky booty?...(yes, soul sistahs, you know it!)aaahhhh...a lazy weekend at home! a crisp fall night spent in the "enchanted forest" & several hours by a campfire will do wonders to revive one's soul! (&, yes, of course, i ate all the chocolate! shhhh...don't tell boyworld.)

taking a risk this all hallow's eve...

2008-10-31T10:33:00.005-04:00

a few days ago in a very benign conversation with an acquaintance, one who has only ever been sweet & kind in my presence & who has a marvelous reputation in my circle, i heard something that has been weaving in & out of my thoughts ever since. my mind just will not let go of what i heard; it even invades my consciousness when i am very busy with other completely unrelated things. in the course of our discussing something that did not involve me & only mildly involved her, she wondered aloud if, because of what we were discussing, i would still want to have anything to do with her. i was so taken aback by her comment that i simply passed it over in the moment.in hindsight, i am hoping that my gut reaction was correct because the feelings that i suspect are behind her words are troubling. what would make a person think that she is so disposable to others? that something so benign would be grounds for tossing a relationship? my heart is hurting for her & anyone else who feels that way. why do we turn our backs on others so easily? granted, sometimes it is an issue of well-being & safety. sometimes it is not a conscious rejection but more like the busy-ness of life getting "in the way." but more often than not, if i am honest with myself i find that i am nursing an old wound~ the source of which i may not even remember. we are called to love those in our lives, all of them...even our so-called enemies. this woman's reaction really opened up the other side of this for me & filled me with an overwhelming sense of compassion.i just cannot stand the thought of someone feeling unlovable. sure we may feel wronged by another's words or actions...maybe it truly was personal or maybe we were just in the way of someone's bad day. but no matter...take that risk to love someone who has wronged you. reach out to them. they may reach back. or maybe not...but *you* can still love them. & we all need that.today we have prepared our enchanted forest (really just our front garden, but in the dark it's a mystical place) for the children of our neighborhood for tonight's hallowe'ening. i am strategically located in the center of the forest, handing out goodies to all the brave trick or treaters. as they enter the path, i see hesitation on their parts (hallowe'en is a bit scary afterall!). this is not just another doorbell to ring; this looks a bit more risky~ dark & full of unknown. when they reach me, it is a delight to see a sense of triumph on their faces, knowing they have overcome their fears & come to a place of familiar, one with a treat! taking a risk doesn't always fix everything & not every treat at the end is as tangible as a piece of chocolate, but in the end, love is always worth it.

boyworld on the move...

2008-10-29T20:10:00.012-04:00

in planes, trains...& automobiles...plus a bus or 2 for good measure...after a whirlwind of adventure we are home from chicago with some good memories in the stash! we spent time in high places...low places...places that rock...places for learning...silly places...places that are rollin' in the dough...(no, they were not able to relieve the federal reserve of that suitcase filled with 1 million USD!) & even a place of beauty (though boyworld did protest a bit about this one!)...chicago welcomed us with open arms & a joy that was quite contagious.it is truly one of the friendliest places i have visited & though i am not a city-dweller by nature, i would return for another visit in a heartbeat.

& the food...don't get me started! chicago deep-dish pizza after a day spent in airports & on planes (where there is not one bite of food to be found domestically) is pure heaven.but my true love found in chicago was this~~ intelligentsia coffee. please have mercy, that stuff is amazing! boyworld did not quite understand my swooning...they were busily munching on a dunkin donut when i found this new way to satisfy my addiction. oh well, there is still hope for their immature palates! & thank God for the internet...i can have a bit o' my chicago heaven delivered right to my home...sigh. home again, but the wanderlust continues...in pursuit of good coffee, gelato & adventure all over the world...

Bee~ing there!

2008-10-19T18:11:00.007-04:00

road trip!!& at the end of the road...a warm welcome to the table with old friends...take a walk with me in my favorite US city...charleston SC...every turn of corner is a thing of beauty...behind every wall is a secret garden...& the art!...the french quarter is a feast for the eyes...especially at my favorite gallery~~ robert lange studiosrobert is usually found at the easle with a smile & kind word for every visitor, eager to share his joy in the creative process.charleston isn't without some italian influence...yes, that's my ride (i wish...)& they even have gelato at modica (it's not quite san crispino but it's good!)as you stroll along, don't forget to look up...& even wander a bit out of town...maybe you'll find yourself 'up the creek'...shem creek, that is!here comes tonight's dinner on a shem creek shrimp boat...but enough of that...it's time to take a peek at the 'secret'...the premiere of 'the secret life of bees'!!!tickets in hand...a red carpet stroll...the movie was fabulous, very true to the book & extremely well casted. even Little Man, who did not read the book, thoroughly enjoyed it. we were excited to see what they did with the parts we had seen in production, particularly the ones which were filmed in D.'s hospital. the after-movie reception gave us the wonderful opportunity to chat with sue monk kidd...& to enjoy the music of mark bryan from hootie & the blowfish...a gracious 'thank you' to W & W, our dear friends who hosted us this week for a time of true southern hospitality!! all too soon we found ourselves back on the road to home, but not without a little help...next on the horizon...racking up more air miles & a jaunt in the windy city with boyworld!

on the horizon...

2008-10-14T03:34:00.003-04:00

first...a little shout-out from the home team for Baby Girl...thanks for the awesome 'guest post' & buona fortuna with your mid-term exams!! (or should i say 'in bocca al lupo'!? cherrye can explain...)(Baby Girl made these very cool 'solidarity' bracelets for us to wear while she was away...whatta sweetheart she is!)

do y'all remember this little 'secret' from january?? well, stay tuned for a bit of an update soon! my quiet 6 week hiatus from travel is coming to an end & you know what?...i'm excited & ready to go! i have enjoyed this stretch of down time so much but my backpack is beckoning me & the jets' contrails over our home seem like love notes written in my sky...plus, my struggling italian is just begging to be put to good use! lucky boyworld, too...because they homeschool, they are able to join me at least some of the time.

beginning this week my blogging & blog visits may be a bit sporadic for awhile, but i carry you all in my heart wherever i go...& who knows?...sometimes i am even graced with the good fortune to meet some of you!

sometimes...

2008-10-12T03:46:00.000-04:00

sometimes
your mind whispers...
the night is dark & i am far from home...
even though you are hiding under the quilt
in your own bed.sometimes
you mistake the pouring rain
for your own tears
while you are safely sheltered
in your own abode.sometimes
a succession of small nothings
begins to look like a pile of something
even though you are certain
each one was handled
with the utmost careand then...
sometimes
a word arrives
in a still, small voice or in black & white
from one who cares
& you know
that you are not alone.life is indeed a mad mission
but it is not a journey
i long to take
without love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
here's to all of us who are in this thing called life together!

what is this saying about me...

2008-10-11T03:46:00.000-04:00

my boys to me:

"if you're going to go out of the box, at least give the rest of us some directions."duly noted!